Anyone who is being bullied will eventually have feelings of shame, guilt and embarrassment, these feelings are only normal when you are being victimised day in and day out over a long period of time. The victim of the bully will eventually begin to ask themselves “why me” and will feel embarrassment, guilt and shame that they can’t stand up to the bully and deal with what is happening to them by themselves.
It is important to remember that in fact there are very few people who could deal with persistent bullying over long periods of time by themselves. Persistent bullies are also called serial bullies and there are primarily four different types of serial bully, the attention seeker, the wannabe, the guru and the sociopath:
The Attention seeker
The attention seeker will always want to be the focus of attention; they are control freaks who are excellent in manipulating people. Signs of the attention seeker are:
* Emotionally insecure and immature.
* Has selective friends for example they can be over sweet to some people, rude and offhand to others and the rest of the people are just ignored.
* Very aggressive to anyone who sees them for what they are.
* Can be over friendly with their chosen target in the beginning, this gives a person a false sense of security.
* Everything that happens to them is a “drama”.
* Prefers not to solve any problems they have in their own life, this way they can continue gaining attention and sympathy.
* Has lots of self pity.
The Wannabe
This type of bully will crave respect for being competent despite severely lacking in competence, signs of the wannabe are:
* An underperformer or achiever.
* Craves undeserved respect and attention.
* Has no qualifications but says they have.
* Or very envious or jealous of others.
* Steals ideas from others and uses them as their own.
* Are very easily provoked and quick to anger.
* Female wannabes will surround themselves with people of the opposite sex delighting in the attention.
* Gives the appearance of loyalty but discards a person when they have served the purpose of the bully.
* Is likely to make friends or have affairs to gain power, status or position.
The Guru
The guru very often has the inability to understand how others feel, signs of the guru are:
* Will do anything to succeed.
* Isn’t very good with people and is often a loner.
* Does not accept responsibility for their own behaviour.
* Emotionally immature and sometimes cold and frigid.
* Puts the blame on others for their own inadequacies.
* Is a frequent liar.
* Often lives in the past rather than the present.
The Sociopath
The sociopath will gain personal satisfaction from power and personal gain and will do anything for their own survival, signs of the sociopath bully are:
* Have a Jekyll and Hyde personality.
* Charming to those that can protect their position.
* Likes to be surrounded by people who are easily manipulated.
* Pursues endless vicious vendettas against anyone they perceive as a threat.
* Enjoys seeing others distress which can either be caused by themselves or others.
* Has no control or limit to their vindictiveness.
Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying
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