There are many different forms of bullying, it isn’t all physical violence it is also verbal or social abuse, this can be by way of intimidation, making nasty comments and excluding the person. Bullying can consist of threatening, persistent teasing, name calling, ignoring, gossiping and spreading vicious rumours. This done day in day out over a long period of time can have serious effects on your child’s health both physically and mentally.
Stages of bullying
When your child first begins to be bullied the effects can be minor, your child will of course be upset at what is happening to them and may often come home tearful, and they will perhaps go off their food and can also begin to have sleepless nights or bad dreams. If the bullying continues your child will then come up with more and more excuses to not to go to school, they will say they have a stomach ache, headache or other minor illness.
Perhaps if the bullying is taking place in just one or two lessons say for instance PE then they will make excuses just on particular days when they have those lessons. Gradually over a period of time your child will begin to show signs of stress developing; they may look tired and drawn, not sleeping very well, be very nervous and jittery, refuse to go out after school or begin to have panic attacks.
Ideally the problem should never reach this stage because the effects of stress from bullying can lead to self harm and suicide. By this stage you will know something is seriously wrong with your child and probably school will have noticed a big difference in your child too as stress affects learning.
More often than not children are reluctant to tell if they are being bullied due to their own feelings of guilt and shame, only occasionally are they too afraid of the bullies threats to tell.
The four common types of bullying
* Verbal bullying - This type of bullying is very often done by girls; it is a very cruel form of bullying and can have deep lasting affects on your child mentally even when the bullying has been stopped. Verbal bullying consists of name calling, sarcasm, teasing and spreading rumours.
* Social bullying – excluding your child from the group is a popular form of social bullying, bullies of this type will often make your child the scapegoat and humiliate them at every opportunity in front of others.
* Physical bullying – This form of bullying is one used mostly by boys and only occasionally girls, it takes the form of hitting, pinching, poking, pushing, chasing and destroying or stealing possessions.
* Cyber bullying – This form of bullying is becoming more widespread and consists of sending hateful text messages, e-mails or spreading rumours by these methods. Occasionally serious prank phone calls are made to the victim usually to scare them and is a form of bullying favoured by girls.
Whichever form of bullying takes place it can have serious health related issues long after the bullying has been dealt with and stopped, it may take a long time for your child to fully recover from the ordeal particularly if the bullying happened over a long period of time.
The quicker the problem is caught and dealt with the quicker your child can start to put it behind them and get on with their life. Even so your child may need to see a Doctor especially when dealing with the effects of stress.
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Bullying Effect On Child Question & Answers
Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying
My daughter was bullied by a girl in our very affluent neighborhood. The parents, I had been warned, believed all 5 of their kids to be perfect, and they, too were perfect parents. When the day came to tell the girl to stop tormenting my child, the mother phoned me at home and screamed at me and called me names, telling me that her girl was “scared” of me. I appealed to the spouse, but he told me that I was a liar and that their perfect family was incapable of such. There is no where to turn when these are the parents you must deal with. We will be installing cameras on our home to document future acts of violence or intimidation brought on by the rest of the family. Looks like money does not buy class or honesty. I am so depressed over the whole thing. It changed who I was. It changed who my daughter was. Sad.
Distressed mother
please do not let these people change who you are!If you stand back from the situation for just a few minutes and realize that if you had been warned about these people and their unrealistic view of their children, then you should realize that you are not the only one who has had experience with these people. As for even thinking that money makes you automatically have manners, class or honesty, then you are living a very sheltered existence. Some of the most honest, dependable, and classy people live from paycheck to paycheck. Just remind yourself and your daughter that the problem isn’t yours but their’s.
Our family is going thru the same thing with the family next door. There son has made life hell for our son, when I tried to speak to the parent’s I was shocked at there attitude.We worked so hard to get our dream home & give our children a better life.We have told our children not to sink to their level. If the housing market was better,I would have a 4 sale sign up tommorrow.
Wow! scary to hear how many people are going through these bullying issues. And they all have the same tone to them, the parents of these bullies just don’t want to help their children stop! if only they would realize that it’s helpful not only to the child being bullied, but to their child(ren) as well, as they are very likely to become adult bullies that will probably have all kinds of adult anger issues. The bullies of my child are twins, whose parents are teachers in the catholic school system, and whose answer to us about their children being bullies, is that their children are only learning to socialize, and that my child is too sensitive. This is the unbelievable comment we received from the mother, who claims she “teaches” about bullying in the school. More like “how to bully”. And, even after writing to the school, the principle the MP, the Board. I got not real support, because these girls sent messages back to my child, that was now in a different school, during catechism classes. The church wouldn’t even return our calls when we left messages requesting to speak to them regarding what was happening. Or when we got the police involved, the one child had a stare down contest with me & then proceeded to gather friends to just stand around & intimidate my child at the theater, right in front of me, the day after the police had been at their house. My husband & I then watched as they ran outside to tell their parent about the incident who then just laughed about it. The biggest problem is that the adults are supporting this type of behaviour. Maybe it is time to make the parents of these children responsible for their childrens’ actions. Most everything I have read says that if an adult gets involved the bullying stops. But if the adult(s) is/are supporting & condoning this behaviour, then it can’t possibly be stopped. I am working with my child’s low self esteem because of the constant bullying (3 years). More has to be done to stop this, and I really think making the parent(s) more responsible will help to save a lot of “bullied” children. One day these children will be old enough to be “charged” for their actions, whether is will make an impact on them by then, i don’t know, because most of the damage has already been done.
i feel like crying, but i can’t. i just really need to cry right now. it is just unfair that these victims had to endure all this. i know because i was in that position and im still depressed. i wish all that was treated ages ago.
it cant be treated all therapists do is present it and validate it and then when you have the confidence to believe your not alone when you know 1/2 the world is damaged for life by the direct actions of the other half then all they can do is give you the tools to work with to learn how to cope with your personality flaws and minimize their impact on the normal people who weren’t bullied if you can control anger low self esteem and all the life problems this presents for you at least if you modify your anger at least then other people will tolerate you. if you continue to be dysfunctional no one will want to be around you. thats how simple it is like giving up drugs or alcohol or armed robbery whatever you do that harms you and brings misery apon you only you the sad person doing it to your self can actually be the one to stop
others can only guide you with explanations for your behaviours and why you hate yourself enough to want to hurt yourself. once you learn how wonderful you are and how special to the world you are you wont want to destroy yourself you also wont want to hurt the people who have harmed you anymore they wont matter any more…
I was bullied at a young (and I mean YOUNG) age, maybe starting at age 5. It didn’t get really bad until I moved to the States back in 2003. I was in 3rd grade then. And then, as the years pressed on, it got worse. I remember when I was in 7th grade i got in an argument because a girl thought i was going after her boyfriend. I got my hair pulled and I was pushed into a locker. Teacher helped me get the boy (who was the girl’s friend) suspended. And in 8th grade, a boy was being as ass (sorry for the bad language) and i just blew a fuse. I went off and i think i threatened to kill him. I don’t remember a thing I did or said. I remember being held back by my friend, and crying after it was all over. I don’t remember my childhood other than those horrid events and some good flashbacks. I know i probably suffer from DID (look it up~) and depression. I have cut myself. I feel worthless and stupid at times. I would bag on myself alot. I suffer. And i just want the pain to stop. And for it not to start for anyone else. No one deserves to suffer…
I have a beautiful 14 year old son. He is gifted, may have Aspergers, probably ADD and was just hospitalized with depression with suicide/homicidal ideation. he was severely bullied and teased in grade school which continued in a less severe form in middle school. The grade school he attended did little to nothing to stop the abuse my son suffered at the hands of his peers. How long are we going to continue to hold the schools blameless? How many more innocent children will have their life altered so easily while the very people we entrust them to do nothing? if my child had been harmed physically because of school negligence that school would have been held accountable.
My daughter was bullied by a girl in our very affluent neighborhood. The parents, I had been warned, believed all 5 of their kids to be perfect, and they, too were perfect parents. When the day came to tell the girl to stop tormenting my child, the mother phoned me at home and screamed at me and called me names, telling me that her girl was “scared” of me. I appealed to the spouse, but he told me that I was a liar and that their perfect family was incapable of such. There is no where to turn when these are the parents you must deal with. We will be installing cameras on our home to document future acts of violence or intimidation brought on by the rest of the family. Looks like money does not buy class or honesty. I am so depressed over the whole thing. It changed who I was. It changed who my daughter was. Sad.
Distressed mother
please do not let these people change who you are!If you stand back from the situation for just a few minutes and realize that if you had been warned about these people and their unrealistic view of their children, then you should realize that you are not the only one who has had experience with these people. As for even thinking that money makes you automatically have manners, class or honesty, then you are living a very sheltered existence. Some of the most honest, dependable, and classy people live from paycheck to paycheck. Just remind yourself and your daughter that the problem isn’t yours but their’s.
Our family is going thru the same thing with the family next door. There son has made life hell for our son, when I tried to speak to the parent’s I was shocked at there attitude.We worked so hard to get our dream home & give our children a better life.We have told our children not to sink to their level. If the housing market was better,I would have a 4 sale sign up tommorrow.
Wow! scary to hear how many people are going through these bullying issues. And they all have the same tone to them, the parents of these bullies just don’t want to help their children stop! if only they would realize that it’s helpful not only to the child being bullied, but to their child(ren) as well, as they are very likely to become adult bullies that will probably have all kinds of adult anger issues. The bullies of my child are twins, whose parents are teachers in the catholic school system, and whose answer to us about their children being bullies, is that their children are only learning to socialize, and that my child is too sensitive. This is the unbelievable comment we received from the mother, who claims she “teaches” about bullying in the school. More like “how to bully”. And, even after writing to the school, the principle the MP, the Board. I got not real support, because these girls sent messages back to my child, that was now in a different school, during catechism classes. The church wouldn’t even return our calls when we left messages requesting to speak to them regarding what was happening. Or when we got the police involved, the one child had a stare down contest with me & then proceeded to gather friends to just stand around & intimidate my child at the theater, right in front of me, the day after the police had been at their house. My husband & I then watched as they ran outside to tell their parent about the incident who then just laughed about it. The biggest problem is that the adults are supporting this type of behaviour. Maybe it is time to make the parents of these children responsible for their childrens’ actions. Most everything I have read says that if an adult gets involved the bullying stops. But if the adult(s) is/are supporting & condoning this behaviour, then it can’t possibly be stopped. I am working with my child’s low self esteem because of the constant bullying (3 years). More has to be done to stop this, and I really think making the parent(s) more responsible will help to save a lot of “bullied” children. One day these children will be old enough to be “charged” for their actions, whether is will make an impact on them by then, i don’t know, because most of the damage has already been done.
i feel like crying, but i can’t. i just really need to cry right now. it is just unfair that these victims had to endure all this. i know because i was in that position and im still depressed. i wish all that was treated ages ago.
it cant be treated all therapists do is present it and validate it and then when you have the confidence to believe your not alone when you know 1/2 the world is damaged for life by the direct actions of the other half then all they can do is give you the tools to work with to learn how to cope with your personality flaws and minimize their impact on the normal people who weren’t bullied if you can control anger low self esteem and all the life problems this presents for you at least if you modify your anger at least then other people will tolerate you. if you continue to be dysfunctional no one will want to be around you. thats how simple it is like giving up drugs or alcohol or armed robbery whatever you do that harms you and brings misery apon you only you the sad person doing it to your self can actually be the one to stop
others can only guide you with explanations for your behaviours and why you hate yourself enough to want to hurt yourself. once you learn how wonderful you are and how special to the world you are you wont want to destroy yourself you also wont want to hurt the people who have harmed you anymore they wont matter any more…
I was bullied at a young (and I mean YOUNG) age, maybe starting at age 5. It didn’t get really bad until I moved to the States back in 2003. I was in 3rd grade then. And then, as the years pressed on, it got worse. I remember when I was in 7th grade i got in an argument because a girl thought i was going after her boyfriend. I got my hair pulled and I was pushed into a locker. Teacher helped me get the boy (who was the girl’s friend) suspended. And in 8th grade, a boy was being as ass (sorry for the bad language) and i just blew a fuse. I went off and i think i threatened to kill him. I don’t remember a thing I did or said. I remember being held back by my friend, and crying after it was all over. I don’t remember my childhood other than those horrid events and some good flashbacks. I know i probably suffer from DID (look it up~) and depression. I have cut myself. I feel worthless and stupid at times. I would bag on myself alot. I suffer. And i just want the pain to stop. And for it not to start for anyone else. No one deserves to suffer…
I have a beautiful 14 year old son. He is gifted, may have Aspergers, probably ADD and was just hospitalized with depression with suicide/homicidal ideation. he was severely bullied and teased in grade school which continued in a less severe form in middle school. The grade school he attended did little to nothing to stop the abuse my son suffered at the hands of his peers. How long are we going to continue to hold the schools blameless? How many more innocent children will have their life altered so easily while the very people we entrust them to do nothing? if my child had been harmed physically because of school negligence that school would have been held accountable.