Comments on: Types Of Bullying In The Workplace http://www.bullyfreeworld.com/2008/05/25/types-of-bullying-in-the-workplace/ Bullying Guide: Learning about and dealing with bullying Fri, 16 Jul 2010 00:21:19 +0300 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: LilMiss http://www.bullyfreeworld.com/2008/05/25/types-of-bullying-in-the-workplace/comment-page-1/#comment-117 LilMiss Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:26:16 +0000 http://bullyfreeworld.com/?p=18#comment-117 If the question is, "why am I being bullied at work?" I think the answer is that the person bullying you thinks you are weaker & may not deserve to be in the position you are in at work. Some of the bullying I am reading about above is just meanness & bullying like in the schoolyard. What I am talking about is purely work related. If you are being bullied, ask yourself, "what is it about me that makes this person think I am weaker, or not fit to be in my job?" Are you frequently late? Do you hinder projects because you are slow or can't do the job properly? Are you or your children/family members always sick?Are you afraid of change & just rubber stamp everything as a "no" or "let's wait?" If so, maybe the person bullying you is trying to manipulate you into getting with the program or getting the hell out. I am not saying this is right, but ask yourself what is your role in this? If other people aren't supporting you in this crises, it could be that they are trying to be nice, and they could actually be agreeing with the bully because you are holding up progress or not pulling your weight. You need to determine why the person is bullying you. If the person is a jerk to everyone or is on a powertrip it may not be something you can deal with. But if you are not pulling your share of the load or slowing down progress you need to assess what you can do to improve yourself and your position in the team. If the question is, “why am I being bullied at work?” I think the answer is that the person bullying you thinks you are weaker & may not deserve to be in the position you are in at work.

Some of the bullying I am reading about above is just meanness & bullying like in the schoolyard.

What I am talking about is purely work related. If you are being bullied, ask yourself, “what is it about me that makes this person think I am weaker, or not fit to be in my job?” Are you frequently late? Do you hinder projects because you are slow or can’t do the job properly? Are you or your children/family members always sick?Are you afraid of change & just rubber stamp everything as a “no” or “let’s wait?” If so, maybe the person bullying you is trying to manipulate you into getting with the program or getting the hell out. I am not saying this is right, but ask yourself what is your role in this?

If other people aren’t supporting you in this crises, it could be that they are trying to be nice, and they could actually be agreeing with the bully because you are holding up progress or not pulling your weight.

You need to determine why the person is bullying you. If the person is a jerk to everyone or is on a powertrip it may not be something you can deal with. But if you are not pulling your share of the load or slowing down progress you need to assess what you can do to improve yourself and your position in the team.

]]> By: louise http://www.bullyfreeworld.com/2008/05/25/types-of-bullying-in-the-workplace/comment-page-1/#comment-113 louise Fri, 17 Jul 2009 11:58:11 +0000 http://bullyfreeworld.com/?p=18#comment-113 hi, in my current work one of the other technicians keeps pushing his work into me and not doing the job that he sould because he knows that i will end up doing it or i'm told to do by my boss. my boss was on long term sick and i was left to do all the work because to refused to help and i needed to go higher up than my boss to get him to do the little work he did. this lead to me to to suffer from work related depession and i have been off for two months. Is this a form of bulling and where came i get information to take to my employeer to provide that it was bulling. thank for your help. hi,

in my current work one of the other technicians keeps pushing his work into me and not doing the job that he sould because he knows that i will end up doing it or i’m told to do by my boss. my boss was on long term sick and i was left to do all the work because to refused to help and i needed to go higher up than my boss to get him to do the little work he did. this lead to me to to suffer from work related depession and i have been off for two months. Is this a form of bulling and where came i get information to take to my employeer to provide that it was bulling.

thank for your help.

]]> By: Lou http://www.bullyfreeworld.com/2008/05/25/types-of-bullying-in-the-workplace/comment-page-1/#comment-80 Lou Tue, 03 Feb 2009 21:37:59 +0000 http://bullyfreeworld.com/?p=18#comment-80 hi there, i work in a shop and the manager is the owner's sister. She is one of these peope who always has somethig to say, you know. on more than one occasion if she has asked me to work on a day that i am not scheduled to be working she makes a smart comment like "thanks for nothing" (by the way, i have frequently worked extra days etc for her its just some days i have other engagements) recently, i broke a bone in my foot, i did it in the morning before work and thought it would be fine as at the time, i didnt know it was broken, so i went into work as scheduled, however as the day went on, my foot got much worse so i went to the doctor on my lunch break. she told me to go straight to the hospital as she thought i had broken a bone so i rang the manager and the owner who bout thol me that i was to wait untill 6pm, when the shop would be closing, before i could go to the hospital. also another time when she wanted me to work on my day off (she text me asking to ring her as she needed me to work) i text her back sayin that i was unable to do it as i had no babysitter for my child and nephew who i was also minding. she then text me back saying how dare i text her that i should have rang. am i nuts in thinking that this treatment is unfair? i would love yo hear ur comments. thank you. hi there,
i work in a shop and the manager is the owner’s sister. She is one of these peope who always has somethig to say, you know. on more than one occasion if she has asked me to work on a day that i am not scheduled to be working she makes a smart comment like “thanks for nothing” (by the way, i have frequently worked extra days etc for her its just some days i have other engagements) recently, i broke a bone in my foot, i did it in the morning before work and thought it would be fine as at the time, i didnt know it was broken, so i went into work as scheduled, however as the day went on, my foot got much worse so i went to the doctor on my lunch break. she told me to go straight to the hospital as she thought i had broken a bone so i rang the manager and the owner who bout thol me that i was to wait untill 6pm, when the shop would be closing, before i could go to the hospital. also another time when she wanted me to work on my day off (she text me asking to ring her as she needed me to work) i text her back sayin that i was unable to do it as i had no babysitter for my child and nephew who i was also minding. she then text me back saying how dare i text her that i should have rang. am i nuts in thinking that this treatment is unfair?
i would love yo hear ur comments.
thank you.

]]> By: catherine http://www.bullyfreeworld.com/2008/05/25/types-of-bullying-in-the-workplace/comment-page-1/#comment-37 catherine Wed, 17 Sep 2008 10:51:50 +0000 http://bullyfreeworld.com/?p=18#comment-37 Kath, I think you will be just fine. Even through all the hurtful and frustrating feelings you quite rightly feel, you've not lost sight of the fact that, you would rather be the person you are and be hurt, rather than be like your niece and be a liar. Believe me, you can only deceive some of the people some of the time, and she will slip up. Believe me I have seen this first hand. And I didn't have to do a thing! God bless! Kath, I think you will be just fine. Even through all the hurtful and frustrating feelings you quite rightly feel, you’ve not lost sight of the fact that, you would rather be the person you are and be hurt, rather than be like your niece and be a liar. Believe me, you can only deceive some of the people some of the time, and she will slip up. Believe me I have seen this first hand. And I didn’t have to do a thing!
God bless!

]]> By: kath Jones http://www.bullyfreeworld.com/2008/05/25/types-of-bullying-in-the-workplace/comment-page-1/#comment-36 kath Jones Sun, 14 Sep 2008 09:58:01 +0000 http://bullyfreeworld.com/?p=18#comment-36 I have a work colleague who assist me in my job who changes the system that is in place, so that I am forced to change my way of working, tries to intimidate me, take over jobs i.e. opening post when she hasn't been given permision to do so. Takes no notice of me when I ask her to do things in a certain way. She have been very aggressive to my face, when no one is around, then accuse me of doing it, even bringing a witness. I had manage to prove that she was lying but she tells everyone that I am the bully, the liar and she will never forgive me for what I have done, that I am the one with an attitude problem. I deal with the accounts of a medium ssize company who appart from myself and her the rest are men. She manipulates situation, plays one person of against the other. i.e. Comes to me and says something about another colleague and then goes back to this person and says "Kath says". By the time I realise what she is doing it is too late. She doesn't give you time to say anything because she walks away. Because of the lies she has told about me my relationship with our boss has changed and the way he let me run the accounts. I find that I am having to defend myself all the time. There are other ways she has made my work very difficult. I've tried talking to the owner of the company, who does realise she has a bit of an attitude problem but I feel frustrated that I cannot explain things properly and people will not/cannot see how she is effecting my life. Also I still feel that he believes her lies about me. She has a very believable innocent face. This person is my niece and someone who I loved very much and got her the job. Everyone knows she is funny as I did but always thought she did not know what she was doing. Now I know different, that she knows exactly what she is doing. Now I am having the emotional blackmail being directed through the family. I am very depressed and I feel my happiness in my job and my confidence will not recover from this. I couldn't understand what or why she was doing all this as she is not an accounts person and it seemed as if she way trying to take over my job. Then I read about covert bullying which has described everything that had been happening to me. But most of all it had described the reason as Control and Power. I feel better for understanding it but still feel frustrated at myself for not sticking up for myself and being able to make comments which will help me to combat all the above and more. My comment is keep fighting on, we all may be 'sensitive people' and lack the necessary ability to protect outselves from people like all the above but I would still rather be me -caring and sensitive= than a person like my niece who doesn't seem to care who she hurts so long as she gets her own way. I have a work colleague who assist me in my job who changes the system that is in place, so that I am forced to change my way of working, tries to intimidate me, take over jobs i.e. opening post when she hasn’t been given permision to do so. Takes no notice of me when I ask her to do things in a certain way. She have been very aggressive to my face, when no one is around, then accuse me of doing it, even bringing a witness. I had manage to prove that she was lying but she tells everyone that I am the bully, the liar and she will never forgive me for what I have done, that I am the one with an attitude problem. I deal with the accounts of a medium ssize company who appart from myself and her the rest are men. She manipulates situation, plays one person of against the other. i.e. Comes to me and says something about another colleague and then goes back to this person and says “Kath says”. By the time I realise what she is doing it is too late. She doesn’t give you time to say anything because she walks away. Because of the lies she has told about me my relationship with our boss has changed and the way he let me run the accounts. I find that I am having to defend myself all the time. There are other ways she has made my work very difficult. I’ve tried talking to the owner of the company, who does realise she has a bit of an attitude problem but I feel frustrated that I cannot explain things properly and people will not/cannot see how she is effecting my life. Also I still feel that he believes her lies about me. She has a very believable innocent face. This person is my niece and someone who I loved very much and got her the job. Everyone knows she is funny as I did but always thought she did not know what she was doing. Now I know different, that she knows exactly what she is doing. Now I am having the emotional blackmail being directed through the family. I am very depressed and I feel my happiness in my job and my confidence will not recover from this. I couldn’t understand what or why she was doing all this as she is not an accounts person and it seemed as if she way trying to take over my job. Then I read about covert bullying which has described everything that had been happening to me. But most of all it had described the reason as Control and Power. I feel better for understanding it but still feel frustrated at myself for not sticking up for myself and being able to make comments which will help me to combat all the above and more.
My comment is keep fighting on, we all may be ’sensitive people’ and lack the necessary ability to protect outselves from people like all the above but I would still rather be me -caring and sensitive= than a person like my niece who doesn’t seem to care who she hurts so long as she gets her own way.

]]> By: Jo Anna http://www.bullyfreeworld.com/2008/05/25/types-of-bullying-in-the-workplace/comment-page-1/#comment-19 Jo Anna Thu, 03 Jul 2008 06:02:47 +0000 http://bullyfreeworld.com/?p=18#comment-19 I work with a Marketing Rep who is very smart but loves to put me down, she waits and then she spring. Yesterday I had two customers in my office and I was trying to sell these two ladies tickets for an event. We just had a new system put in and I had not sold this type of tickets before so I went into the other office and I asked for assistant one of the ladies got up and started around her desk to come to assist me the other (the bully) told her in a very forceful voice not to assist me (so she turned around and sat back down at her desk) that I could figure it out myself. Mind you the bully said this very loudly so my customer also heard it. I went back into my office and still needed assistance so I went back into the other office and asked again, the bully reluctantly came into my office and assisted me. I did not act or let on that I was just fuming at her actions. When the opportunity came and she and I were alone I approached her and told her that her actions were inappropriate and I had customer in my office that heard her and that she had offended me again. She sarcastically apologized. I went to lunch shortly after that and when I came back the bully was singing a different tune I am assuming she had time to think about her actions. She came into my office and said that the office had been busy and crazy and her actions were a result of the heat of the moment. I told her I still found her actions inappropriate and that a person does not act in that manner in front of customer or that matter anyone else. She came back a few minutes later with some information about the new system and wanted to share the information with me; I believe she thought I might go to the supervisor again and report her actions. I have not done this yet, but I possibly might. I assuming she was trying to make amends with me but I believe this same behavior will happen again at some later time. This is the third incident of this type and yes we have addressed the other times and so has my immediate supervisor (her supervisor also) So I have come to the conclusion that if it happens again I will go to the head of Human Resources and let them know what is happening. I work with one bully and one complaining gossip that also seems to see the worst in everyone. I let it be known at our last meeting that I would not be part of their gossip. So I am sort of the one man out. I really do not mind this but I do not like the shunning or the almost rude comments that are made when I ask a question. I know they want to make me feel excluded. I know that sounds like I being too sensitive. But I know that this is truthfully happening in my work place. I also know that is a form of harassment. I work with a Marketing Rep who is very smart but loves to put me down, she waits and then she spring. Yesterday I had two customers in my office and I was trying to sell these two ladies tickets for an event. We just had a new system put in and I had not sold this type of tickets before so I went into the other office and I asked for assistant one of the ladies got up and started around her desk to come to assist me the other (the bully) told her in a very forceful voice not to assist me (so she turned around and sat back down at her desk) that I could figure it out myself. Mind you the bully said this very loudly so my customer also heard it. I went back into my office and still needed assistance so I went back into the other office and asked again, the bully reluctantly came into my office and assisted me. I did not act or let on that I was just fuming at her actions. When the opportunity came and she and I were alone I approached her and told her that her actions were inappropriate and I had customer in my office that heard her and that she had offended me again. She sarcastically apologized. I went to lunch shortly after that and when I came back the bully was singing a different tune I am assuming she had time to think about her actions. She came into my office and said that the office had been busy and crazy and her actions were a result of the heat of the moment. I told her I still found her actions inappropriate and that a person does not act in that manner in front of customer or that matter anyone else. She came back a few minutes later with some information about the new system and wanted to share the information with me; I believe she thought I might go to the supervisor again and report her actions. I have not done this yet, but I possibly might. I assuming she was trying to make amends with me but I believe this same behavior will happen again at some later time. This is the third incident of this type and yes we have addressed the other times and so has my immediate supervisor (her supervisor also) So I have come to the conclusion that if it happens again I will go to the head of Human Resources and let them know what is happening. I work with one bully and one complaining gossip that also seems to see the worst in everyone. I let it be known at our last meeting that I would not be part of their gossip. So I am sort of the one man out. I really do not mind this but I do not like the shunning or the almost rude comments that are made when I ask a question. I know they want to make me feel excluded. I know that sounds like I being too sensitive. But I know that this is truthfully happening in my work place. I also know that is a form of harassment.

]]> By: Max Longobardi http://www.bullyfreeworld.com/2008/05/25/types-of-bullying-in-the-workplace/comment-page-1/#comment-8 Max Longobardi Sat, 07 Jun 2008 04:29:39 +0000 http://bullyfreeworld.com/?p=18#comment-8 i have being bullied for about three and a half years in the workplace as mentioned above i have being bullied for all this time with some breaker yesterday speaking with a friend that is having the same issue i have realised that it is the same things that is happening to me.i did not know what it was? so i have decided to go on internet and read about this problem. the problem that i am having are more mentally cruelity i am a very strong person because i do a lot of sports but i have started to loose confidence with my head and i have realised that something is happening?at moment i am feeling better because i have found out what was the issue but i still need some help.basiccally i would like to know in details what are the mental issue and what to do to get stronger and overcome that? also i would like to meet some people that are having the same problem and talk with them. if you want i could also come and meet you and explain everything in my own words. if you can please send me as much details as you can about this bulling problem that will be very much appreciated. yours in trust Max i have being bullied for about three and a half years in the workplace
as mentioned above i have being bullied for all this time with some breaker yesterday speaking with a friend that is having the same issue i have realised that it is the same things that is happening to me.i did not know what it was? so i have decided to go on internet and read about this problem.
the problem that i am having are more mentally cruelity i am a very strong person because i do a lot of sports but i have started to loose confidence with my head and i have realised that something is happening?at moment i am feeling better because i have found out what was the issue but i still need some help.basiccally i would like to know in details what are the mental issue and what to do to get stronger and overcome that?
also i would like to meet some people that are having the same problem and talk with them.
if you want i could also come and meet you and explain everything in my own words.
if you can please send me as much details as you can about this bulling problem that will be very much appreciated.
yours in trust
Max

]]>