There are many different reasons why bullies target people but some reasons are consistent in most case of bullying, so what draws a bully to their target and why? Here are some of the reasons:
* Bullies are opportunists and usually it’s a case of you were in the wrong place at the wrong time and the bully found that they can intimidate you easily.
* The bully is jealous of you and secretly wishes they were like you.
* The bully is afraid of exposing their inadequacy and you only make them feel more inadequate especially if you are excellent at your job or school work.
* You are popular and therefore get more attention than the bully and this is how the bully wants to be.
* You are independent and don’t need to get strength from others, bullies often get strength from their “gang of followers” who find it funny that you are tormented.
* You have many friends who like to be with you just for you.
* You have nice possessions, the bully is often jealous of those who have what they don’t.
Do any special events cause bullying?
As a bully is usually jealous of others achievements there are many events that can trigger bullying such as:
* Your performance at school or work is highlighted by such as awards or praise.
* If for any reason you suddenly become the focus of attention, this often occurs with female bullies.
* Standing up for a friend or colleague who is being bullied.
* Telling tales, this can be incompetence at work for instance or something that is done illegally.
* Displays of affection and trust from others.
* Seeking advice from trade union officials during disputes at work.
* Refusing to obey orders you don’t think are fair.
* Gaining promotion in the work place.
Qualities that bullies find irresistible:
Bullies are particularly drawn to people with the following qualities:
* Popularity – This brings out the jealousy side of the bully.
* Intelligence – This only enhances the bully’s inadequacies.
* You always give 100% and will do anything to help others – This brings out jealousy In bullies.
* You are imaginative and creative – Again shows the bullies incompetence.
* You have a strong sense of right and wrong – The bully will never admit to being wrong.
* You prefer to talk rather than fight – The bully sees this as a sign of weakness.
* High level of tolerance – The bully will try and break you down through bullying to prove he is stronger than you.
What the bully really is:
* A convincing liar who will say and do anything to get out of trouble or around problems in their life.
* Is excellent in deceiving others particularly peers.
* Emotionally insecure and untrustworthy .
* An arrogant person who believes themselves to be untouchable.
* Has a need to control people and alienate them from others.
* They are always takers and never givers.
* Someone who poisons peoples minds with lies about you.
Why Being Bullied Pictures
Why Being Bullied Videos
Being Bullied Ain't Kewl-HaroldSays You Can Fight Back & WIn
dougie being bullied on MOM
Aftermath Of Being Bullied A True Story
Mahaguru (Wife being bullied) (Not very clear)
Pete and Glyn discuss being bullied - BB7
Uncle Eddie: "Being Bullied?"
Why Being Bullied Question & Answers
Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying
I am posting this comment because I want to reach out to children, teenagers or others who might ever fall prey to bullies. I had lots of friends in school and had lots of great times. There was this particular group of “older” kids who decided they were going to cause some problems from time-to-time. I think that these problems stemmed from one particular childhood incident dating back to when I was very young. Probably 6 or 7. I was standing in line at school, I think I was first in line when one girl pushed me out of the way and took my spot. My mom, who happened to be there in the school yard, did not want me to take the position back or fight for the spot. I did, but she didn’t. I didn’t go against what my mom had decided. BAD DECISION. VERY BAD DECISION on my mom’s part. I was not going to fight her for the spot or anything like that, but I just wanted to stand my ground and not allow this girl to do this to me. Anyway, long story short this girl was part of a bigger group of bullies who unlike 100s of others who liked me and would not bother me, knew that my mother did not advocate fighting. At this young age she sized the situation up and took advantage of this piece of information for years and years to come until finally I SAID ENOUGH IS A ENOUGH. NOTE: I HAD LOTS OF FRIENDS…these were just a handful of girls but enough to cause problems. One day these girls decided they were going to push me from behind. I remember the day like it was yesterday. The floors were quite slippery because it was rainy outside. They pusshed me again and again. I held back because my mother taught me don’t fight back. Well, it was that day that I finally could not hold back any longer and it was the day that changed the course of history. After being pushed one and final last time, I turned around with my neatly folded umbrella and BEAT ALL OF THE GIRLS UP! WELL, I GUESS I SMACKED THEM ALL AROUND. I KNEW WHEN TO STOP and MY HERO TEACHER WAS THERE TO SAVE ME! Well, it bothers me to today that I had to take such extreme measures because it was so unlike me. In fact, I was so upset about having taken matters into my own hands that my HERO TEACHER had to walk me home. MY HERO TEACHER…a beautiful man I will never forgot asked me…why are u crying? U did the right thing? I responded because my mom is going to be so angry at me. To be honest I can’t really remember my mom’s reaction to what occurred. All I know is that the BULLYING STOPPED THAT DAY FORWARD. I never experienced one problem again with anyone in that or any of the schools I attended. I, however, regret that in the days to come I changed a bit and decided that I wasn’t going to take S–T from anybody. There is only one other deep childhood regret that is indirectly related to my bullying. You see I was so afraid of ever being bullied again or becoming a victim of a bully that I thought as a very young child that you have to always be tough and stand your ground. Well, I did not know better. The truth is that what works in some cases doesn’t always work in others and not every BULLY is the same. I think victims of bullying carry that around with them for a long time. No matter how small or big the BULLYING incident because once a kid is bullied they are afraid they’ll to be bullied again. Not all “bullies” are the same. Some are not really bullies. Sometimes we can misinterpret the actions of others. If you are a victim of bullying, please do not put everyone into one barrel. There are very nice people out there who don’t mean harm who may come off as a bully, but they really aren’t. Also, sometimes it is OKAY to back off. The problem is that many times people who have been bullied for a long time JUST DON’T KNOW HOW. After the incident I described above, I became too tough. Too tough for my own good. I wish that experience, how small it was, hadn’t changed me but it did. Not permanently, but it changed me for a little bit. I realized that with a little shouting and hitting I had more friends than before and I had TONS OF FRIENDS I didn’t need anymore. Anyway, I apologize that the one person who was the unintended object of what was the repercussion of my dealings with bullies forgive me for acting like a bully myself and forgive me for being such a mean 10 y/o. It was a very long time ago, but I have never forgotten how I acted on that warm day (spring, summer or fall). Warning: Don’t let your problems with bullying extend beyond and to those who are not involved. — I was so young I didn’t know better. If I could only go back and wake that young innocent kid up, I would.
Whoever you are, you are a breath of fresh air. I am THAT MOTHER. My child, I can only imagine, must think like you. I have just read your story and it has lifted the knot of worry I am carrying around with me for my child like nothing else has. She, like you, has wanted to fight her corner and I have mostly talked her out of it. But, I have to say and I reckon your mother is the same, that I had a mother who was exactly the same with me and so it goes down through the generations, so don’t be too hard on her. Because my mother wouldn’t let me stand up for myself it meant that not only was I bullied at school but also by my sisters. And yet even knowing this I have still told my daughter not to. It takes time to break the cycle. You, however in my opinion have nothing to beat yourself up about. thks
natasha, ask yourself these questions.
Would you say you were quite pretty?
Are you quite smart at school?
Are you a kind and considerate person?
Are you a sensitive person?
You can never put a finger on exactly why you’re being bullied but whether you know the reason or not, you are annoying these people in some way. If you were not, then they wouldn’t bother with you. What I am trying to say is, I think they may be jealous of you in some way and you are probably totally unaware of it. I hope this maybe helps in some way. As and adult now, I can look back with a clearer view and really feel sorrow for the girls who bullied me at school, none of which, I might add, are very happy people.
God bless you.
I was bullied when I was in Primary School by some of these other girls in my class, they taunted me for writing stories, of course, my teacher praised me for all the stories I wrote, for I was in the Top English set. Once, they took one of my homework sheets and shredded it up, but one day, in high school Year 7, I was creating a story for the schools newsletter, and the head let me stand up in Assembly and read it out! The bullies left me alone after they heard I had it published on a web site, they now want to be my best friend! I don’t feel like forgiving them after what they did, but I am now talking for the kids who are very good at something, just follow my Motto: The things that make you special are the things that make you, you! It doesn’t matter what you are good at, all that matters is that your life is quite ahead of you, dont self harm or even try to kill yourself, it is so upsetting for your family and the people that adore you, DONT DO IT! JUST IGNORE THE BULLIES!
Does your child get bullied in school? Do you wish there was something you could do to make your child feel more confident? Well, we can help!
A prominent cable television show is now casting in New York City and the surrounding Tri-state area. We are currently looking for a family where a child has been bullied in school. We want to work with you to boost your child’s self confidence and help them live a more enjoyable life.
Katie, you may be absolutely right…But seriously, my life so far has been horrible. When you’re of a certain age, you look for stability in financial income, credit, family, etc.,no matter what you do for a living….So far in my life, although I have a trade and am in college, I haven’t been able to hold down a job longer than a year, ALL because eventually, I get harassed/bullied.
I’m a 30 year old woman, I’m also a lesbian (but you’ll never know it by seeing me, nor am I out about it), I’m attractive, thin framed, very friendly and open minded, I seem to get along quite well in the beginning with everyone…Then all of a sudden, I’m EVERYONE’S TARGET!??? Mostly men, but also women throw in their share of bullying me too.
My last job, was one that I had planned to do for a living. I got along with everyone, EXCEPT ONE female who I heard was talking alot of nonsense about me only a month into my employment (BASICALLY, didn’t know anything about my personal life, NO ONE DID until I was fired)…Anyway, the place I worked at, I came to find out it was corrupt, this particular female (along w numerous others), got away with anything they wanted. I was harassed for almost a year, people I didn’t know where harassing me, pushing me, vandalizing my car, prank calls, etc..When I finally told the GM, IT GOT WORSE. Long story short, even the GM along with mngmt. and shop steward was related to this particular group of women (the men who got involved where “friends” of the relatives). Worst part of it all, even though I have voice recordings and witnesses on my side, these ppl pay lawyers even, under the table to not persecute them.
My jobs in the past were crappy until I landed that last job, but even in my past jobs as I’ve mentioned earlier, I eventually am THE ONE who winds up getting fired or forced to quit for what reasons I’m still trying to figure out. People eventually love to play the jekyl and hyde on me and then try to play reverse psychology on me by saying there’s something wrong with me. I’M GETTING TIRED OF IT, I ALSO DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE THAT ARE ALLOWED TO RUN ANY BUSINESS/CORPORATION.
I am always bullied in school and i am really sick of it!
i have been bullied for 7 YEARS!!!
people tease me a lot!
my niece told me that boys punch and girls tease and that’s true!
she said that bullying is child abuse.
if my classmates keep this up…
i am gonna send a letter to the principal and tell the principal how feel about being bullied!
my classmates are pulling my confidence down!!!
I need some help. There is a neighbor boy with 3 sisters who repeatedly verbally bully him. He is the oldest and yes has issues. To be honest he knows if he was my kid i would beat his ass. Which he respects me, comes to me and my husband when he is upset. His mother calls my husband to handle him or talk to him when he does something while she is at work. Long story to all this. Basically, Mom is believing what the girls say no matter what. He does nothing write and even takes verbal abuse from mom. I am not really sure that she realizes she is doing all this because she was abused mentally and physical as a child. The girls will post things on FB that they don’t what him around or to go places and sure enough with hours he is grounded and will have to stay home alone. All the children are in counseling however, the councilor is an IDOIT!!!!!! MOM and step dad have a drug past, step dad is no longer living in the house. BUT everyone mom and kids are using the man, Pathetic… Mom is hardly home and when she is he is always in trouble. I have tried to tell her that when the kids tattle on each other punish both of them, It is stupid stuff like he won’t give me the phone or she has been on the phone all day. I did this with my girls when they were younger and it put a stop to the fighting because they both got in trouble so it wasn’t worth it to pick fights. However, she doesn’t she believes what the girls say and nothing the boy said. The kids al know they system and how to play it. I’ve talked to the boy and told him flat out “ I know you know what you are doing, You’re not stupid, and I always get that shitty grin… I feel like I need to do something or say something but so far she has never paid any attention to what I have said. The boy does have a temper and so does mom. I just realized something, she was going to have him put in a boys camp but when she found out she would have to give up her child support, she changed her mind. However, she keeps threaten the boy to send him a way. Part of me wants to tell the boy that she won’t because of that but on the other hand it does help keep him in check so to speak. I’ve tried to explain that to him that his mom is just going through somethings and she is having a hard time and just behave but when I found out the girls posted they didn’t want him around this weekend and two hours later he comes over and said I can go now because of what the girls told mom. Basicly, He told the x-boyfriends daughter, she left move in, to leave, She calls me to have my husband talk to him, cause the 18 yr old girl doesn’t need that. O COME ON… Makes me what to tell her to get her head out of her ass, SORRY…) So after I talked with him and explained she has thing on her mind, she loves him etc. I told him to try this, later before he goes to bed to tell her “mom it’s ok if I don’t go this weekend I know you don’t want me around either. Basicly to put a guilt trip on her, and if that doesn’t work so he can go then I would tell him something else on Friday. I haven’t asked him if any thing has changed yet. But I want to tell him to tell her “Mom why don’t I go live with ___ (cousin) I am sure she would you the money you get for me to do thing with me and not just the girls. O I know this is so wrong but what she is don’t is wrong too. Question is there any law or anything that sais basically this “ If the parent does nothing about another family bulling and allows the bulling or verbal abuse and the bullied child hurt one of the other children in any way the parent will also go to jail and loose all the children. “ I want something to send to her to make her aware that she needs to put a stop to it. Looking for advice.
Thanks Paula
people pick on me because of my wheight and Im bigger then them but I do not want to go down to their low
I am posting this comment because I want to reach out to children, teenagers or others who might ever fall prey to bullies. I had lots of friends in school and had lots of great times. There was this particular group of “older” kids who decided they were going to cause some problems from time-to-time. I think that these problems stemmed from one particular childhood incident dating back to when I was very young. Probably 6 or 7. I was standing in line at school, I think I was first in line when one girl pushed me out of the way and took my spot. My mom, who happened to be there in the school yard, did not want me to take the position back or fight for the spot. I did, but she didn’t. I didn’t go against what my mom had decided. BAD DECISION. VERY BAD DECISION on my mom’s part. I was not going to fight her for the spot or anything like that, but I just wanted to stand my ground and not allow this girl to do this to me. Anyway, long story short this girl was part of a bigger group of bullies who unlike 100s of others who liked me and would not bother me, knew that my mother did not advocate fighting. At this young age she sized the situation up and took advantage of this piece of information for years and years to come until finally I SAID ENOUGH IS A ENOUGH. NOTE: I HAD LOTS OF FRIENDS…these were just a handful of girls but enough to cause problems. One day these girls decided they were going to push me from behind. I remember the day like it was yesterday. The floors were quite slippery because it was rainy outside. They pusshed me again and again. I held back because my mother taught me don’t fight back. Well, it was that day that I finally could not hold back any longer and it was the day that changed the course of history. After being pushed one and final last time, I turned around with my neatly folded umbrella and BEAT ALL OF THE GIRLS UP! WELL, I GUESS I SMACKED THEM ALL AROUND. I KNEW WHEN TO STOP and MY HERO TEACHER WAS THERE TO SAVE ME! Well, it bothers me to today that I had to take such extreme measures because it was so unlike me. In fact, I was so upset about having taken matters into my own hands that my HERO TEACHER had to walk me home. MY HERO TEACHER…a beautiful man I will never forgot asked me…why are u crying? U did the right thing? I responded because my mom is going to be so angry at me. To be honest I can’t really remember my mom’s reaction to what occurred. All I know is that the BULLYING STOPPED THAT DAY FORWARD. I never experienced one problem again with anyone in that or any of the schools I attended. I, however, regret that in the days to come I changed a bit and decided that I wasn’t going to take S–T from anybody. There is only one other deep childhood regret that is indirectly related to my bullying. You see I was so afraid of ever being bullied again or becoming a victim of a bully that I thought as a very young child that you have to always be tough and stand your ground. Well, I did not know better. The truth is that what works in some cases doesn’t always work in others and not every BULLY is the same. I think victims of bullying carry that around with them for a long time. No matter how small or big the BULLYING incident because once a kid is bullied they are afraid they’ll to be bullied again. Not all “bullies” are the same. Some are not really bullies. Sometimes we can misinterpret the actions of others. If you are a victim of bullying, please do not put everyone into one barrel. There are very nice people out there who don’t mean harm who may come off as a bully, but they really aren’t. Also, sometimes it is OKAY to back off. The problem is that many times people who have been bullied for a long time JUST DON’T KNOW HOW. After the incident I described above, I became too tough. Too tough for my own good. I wish that experience, how small it was, hadn’t changed me but it did. Not permanently, but it changed me for a little bit. I realized that with a little shouting and hitting I had more friends than before and I had TONS OF FRIENDS I didn’t need anymore. Anyway, I apologize that the one person who was the unintended object of what was the repercussion of my dealings with bullies forgive me for acting like a bully myself and forgive me for being such a mean 10 y/o. It was a very long time ago, but I have never forgotten how I acted on that warm day (spring, summer or fall). Warning: Don’t let your problems with bullying extend beyond and to those who are not involved. — I was so young I didn’t know better. If I could only go back and wake that young innocent kid up, I would.
Whoever you are, you are a breath of fresh air. I am THAT MOTHER. My child, I can only imagine, must think like you. I have just read your story and it has lifted the knot of worry I am carrying around with me for my child like nothing else has. She, like you, has wanted to fight her corner and I have mostly talked her out of it. But, I have to say and I reckon your mother is the same, that I had a mother who was exactly the same with me and so it goes down through the generations, so don’t be too hard on her. Because my mother wouldn’t let me stand up for myself it meant that not only was I bullied at school but also by my sisters. And yet even knowing this I have still told my daughter not to. It takes time to break the cycle. You, however in my opinion have nothing to beat yourself up about. thks
i dont now why i am bulled
natasha, ask yourself these questions.
Would you say you were quite pretty?
Are you quite smart at school?
Are you a kind and considerate person?
Are you a sensitive person?
You can never put a finger on exactly why you’re being bullied but whether you know the reason or not, you are annoying these people in some way. If you were not, then they wouldn’t bother with you. What I am trying to say is, I think they may be jealous of you in some way and you are probably totally unaware of it. I hope this maybe helps in some way. As and adult now, I can look back with a clearer view and really feel sorrow for the girls who bullied me at school, none of which, I might add, are very happy people.
God bless you.
I was bullied when I was in Primary School by some of these other girls in my class, they taunted me for writing stories, of course, my teacher praised me for all the stories I wrote, for I was in the Top English set. Once, they took one of my homework sheets and shredded it up, but one day, in high school Year 7, I was creating a story for the schools newsletter, and the head let me stand up in Assembly and read it out! The bullies left me alone after they heard I had it published on a web site, they now want to be my best friend! I don’t feel like forgiving them after what they did, but I am now talking for the kids who are very good at something, just follow my Motto: The things that make you special are the things that make you, you! It doesn’t matter what you are good at, all that matters is that your life is quite ahead of you, dont self harm or even try to kill yourself, it is so upsetting for your family and the people that adore you, DONT DO IT! JUST IGNORE THE BULLIES!
Does your child get bullied in school? Do you wish there was something you could do to make your child feel more confident? Well, we can help!
A prominent cable television show is now casting in New York City and the surrounding Tri-state area. We are currently looking for a family where a child has been bullied in school. We want to work with you to boost your child’s self confidence and help them live a more enjoyable life.
Please email us your story.
joep@sharpentertainment.com
Katie, you may be absolutely right…But seriously, my life so far has been horrible. When you’re of a certain age, you look for stability in financial income, credit, family, etc.,no matter what you do for a living….So far in my life, although I have a trade and am in college, I haven’t been able to hold down a job longer than a year, ALL because eventually, I get harassed/bullied.
I’m a 30 year old woman, I’m also a lesbian (but you’ll never know it by seeing me, nor am I out about it), I’m attractive, thin framed, very friendly and open minded, I seem to get along quite well in the beginning with everyone…Then all of a sudden, I’m EVERYONE’S TARGET!??? Mostly men, but also women throw in their share of bullying me too.
My last job, was one that I had planned to do for a living. I got along with everyone, EXCEPT ONE female who I heard was talking alot of nonsense about me only a month into my employment (BASICALLY, didn’t know anything about my personal life, NO ONE DID until I was fired)…Anyway, the place I worked at, I came to find out it was corrupt, this particular female (along w numerous others), got away with anything they wanted. I was harassed for almost a year, people I didn’t know where harassing me, pushing me, vandalizing my car, prank calls, etc..When I finally told the GM, IT GOT WORSE. Long story short, even the GM along with mngmt. and shop steward was related to this particular group of women (the men who got involved where “friends” of the relatives). Worst part of it all, even though I have voice recordings and witnesses on my side, these ppl pay lawyers even, under the table to not persecute them.
My jobs in the past were crappy until I landed that last job, but even in my past jobs as I’ve mentioned earlier, I eventually am THE ONE who winds up getting fired or forced to quit for what reasons I’m still trying to figure out. People eventually love to play the jekyl and hyde on me and then try to play reverse psychology on me by saying there’s something wrong with me. I’M GETTING TIRED OF IT, I ALSO DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE THAT ARE ALLOWED TO RUN ANY BUSINESS/CORPORATION.
I am always bullied in school and i am really sick of it!
i have been bullied for 7 YEARS!!!
people tease me a lot!
my niece told me that boys punch and girls tease and that’s true!
she said that bullying is child abuse.
if my classmates keep this up…
i am gonna send a letter to the principal and tell the principal how feel about being bullied!
my classmates are pulling my confidence down!!!
Posted for Paula
I need some help. There is a neighbor boy with 3 sisters who repeatedly verbally bully him. He is the oldest and yes has issues. To be honest he knows if he was my kid i would beat his ass. Which he respects me, comes to me and my husband when he is upset. His mother calls my husband to handle him or talk to him when he does something while she is at work. Long story to all this. Basically, Mom is believing what the girls say no matter what. He does nothing write and even takes verbal abuse from mom. I am not really sure that she realizes she is doing all this because she was abused mentally and physical as a child. The girls will post things on FB that they don’t what him around or to go places and sure enough with hours he is grounded and will have to stay home alone. All the children are in counseling however, the councilor is an IDOIT!!!!!! MOM and step dad have a drug past, step dad is no longer living in the house. BUT everyone mom and kids are using the man, Pathetic… Mom is hardly home and when she is he is always in trouble. I have tried to tell her that when the kids tattle on each other punish both of them, It is stupid stuff like he won’t give me the phone or she has been on the phone all day. I did this with my girls when they were younger and it put a stop to the fighting because they both got in trouble so it wasn’t worth it to pick fights. However, she doesn’t she believes what the girls say and nothing the boy said. The kids al know they system and how to play it. I’ve talked to the boy and told him flat out “ I know you know what you are doing, You’re not stupid, and I always get that shitty grin… I feel like I need to do something or say something but so far she has never paid any attention to what I have said. The boy does have a temper and so does mom. I just realized something, she was going to have him put in a boys camp but when she found out she would have to give up her child support, she changed her mind. However, she keeps threaten the boy to send him a way. Part of me wants to tell the boy that she won’t because of that but on the other hand it does help keep him in check so to speak. I’ve tried to explain that to him that his mom is just going through somethings and she is having a hard time and just behave but when I found out the girls posted they didn’t want him around this weekend and two hours later he comes over and said I can go now because of what the girls told mom. Basicly, He told the x-boyfriends daughter, she left move in, to leave, She calls me to have my husband talk to him, cause the 18 yr old girl doesn’t need that. O COME ON… Makes me what to tell her to get her head out of her ass, SORRY…) So after I talked with him and explained she has thing on her mind, she loves him etc. I told him to try this, later before he goes to bed to tell her “mom it’s ok if I don’t go this weekend I know you don’t want me around either. Basicly to put a guilt trip on her, and if that doesn’t work so he can go then I would tell him something else on Friday. I haven’t asked him if any thing has changed yet. But I want to tell him to tell her “Mom why don’t I go live with ___ (cousin) I am sure she would you the money you get for me to do thing with me and not just the girls. O I know this is so wrong but what she is don’t is wrong too. Question is there any law or anything that sais basically this “ If the parent does nothing about another family bulling and allows the bulling or verbal abuse and the bullied child hurt one of the other children in any way the parent will also go to jail and loose all the children. “ I want something to send to her to make her aware that she needs to put a stop to it. Looking for advice.
Thanks Paula