Bully Facts
Bullying Guide
There are many different reasons why bullies target people but some reasons are consistent in most case of bullying, so what draws a bully to their target and why? Here are some of the reasons:
* Bullies are opportunists and usually it’s a case of you were in the wrong place at the wrong time and the bully found that they can intimidate you easily.
* The bully is jealous of you and secretly wishes they were like you.
* The bully is afraid of exposing their inadequacy and you only make them feel more inadequate especially if you are excellent at your job or school work.
* You are popular and therefore get more attention than the bully and this is how the bully wants to be.
* You are independent and don’t need to get strength from others, bullies often get strength from their “gang of followers” who find it funny that you are tormented.
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Bullying Guide
Persistent bullying can have very serious consequences on the health; relentless bullying day after day causes stress and with stress comes effects on the health such as fatigue, depression, anxiety, phobias and panic attacks. Anyone who is being bullied will eventually find it stressful and symptoms will begin to show if they are continually faced with stressful situations day after day.
Bullying Guide
When we think of bullying we think of children in school, while it is true the majority of bullying does occur in school in the playgrounds it is something that happens in the workplace and in the home too. Bullying has also taken on a new form with the modern technology of today and is no longer confined just to the playground, bullying now occurs in cyber form via email and text messaging with cell phones.
Bullying in schools
Most bullying often occurs in playgrounds and at lunch breaks and can take on different forms such as your child being bullied for money at lunchtime or for sweets to more serious forms of continually hounding your child just for the sheer fun of it.
Bullying can also occur during lessons particularly in full classes or during sports lessons and isn’t confined in school bullies can also make your child’s life hell going to and from school. Sometimes bullying can also come from those we entrust our children’s safety to, teachers.
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Bullying Guide
When we think of bullying in school it is the children we think of as being the bullies against one another but a recent report showed that more and more teachers are being subjected to bullying in the classroom, this is usually in secondary schools but can also occur even in junior schools and sometimes the bullying doesn’t end when school is out but continues in the teachers’ home life too.
It is thought that half of all teachers in secondary schools have at some time or another been the victim of bullying by pupils. The incidents of bullying in the classroom range from violent behaviour against the teacher such as kicks and pushes to strong verbal abuse and general bad behaviour in the classroom.
Among those teachers that admitted to being bullied in the classroom over 10% of them said the bullying continued away from school and into their home life. Some cases of bullying had gotten so bad that the teacher had been forced to move away from the area due to the persistent harassment by pupils during weekends and evenings.
Bullying Guide
Anyone who is being bullied will eventually have feelings of shame, guilt and embarrassment, these feelings are only normal when you are being victimised day in and day out over a long period of time. The victim of the bully will eventually begin to ask themselves “why me” and will feel embarrassment, guilt and shame that they can’t stand up to the bully and deal with what is happening to them by themselves.
It is important to remember that in fact there are very few people who could deal with persistent bullying over long periods of time by themselves. Persistent bullies are also called serial bullies and there are primarily four different types of serial bully, the attention seeker, the wannabe, the guru and the sociopath:
The Attention seeker
The attention seeker will always want to be the focus of attention; they are control freaks who are excellent in manipulating people. Signs of the attention seeker are:
* Emotionally insecure and immature.
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Bullying Guide
Here we have compiled a series of answers to your bullying questions, providing in a bullying FAQ format:
What is bullying?
* Physical or mental abuse such as hitting, nipping, scratching, being called names and taunted on a daily basis.
* Receiving unwanted and often threatening e-mails, phone calls and text messages on a daily basis.
* Constantly being made to look foolish in the classroom by a teacher, such as being called stupid, thick and general put downs that happen on a daily basis.
* Constant attempts in the workplace to undermine your status, value, position and potential.
* Being put down or patronized constantly especially in front of others.
* Being overload at work or having major work taken away and menial tasks assigned to you on a constant basis.
* Having annual holidays, sick days and compassionate leave denied on a regular basis within the workplace.
* Being given disciplinary procedures for trivial reasons or made up ones on a regular basis in the workplace.
How do I recognize a bully?
* Bullies will very often be in gangs and will be the leader, they will delight in the power that they have over the victim and enjoy feeling powerful as head of a gang.
How can I tell if a school has a problem with bullying?
* Check the schools attendance records, schools which have a big problem with bullies usually have a bad attendance record. This is mainly due to victims of bullies having a lot of time off from school because of the bullying.
* Look for a high level of staff turnover, staff are reluctant to work in schools were bullying is rife.
* Check Ofsted reports for signs of bad behaviour on record.
My child is being bullied on the way to and from school
* Some schools have a policy that the school is responsible for a child’s safety until they reach home, other schools take no responsibility for your child once they have left the school premises. Most schools however will do all they can to help a child who is being bullied. Schools realize that if the bullying is occurring out of school then it will most likely continue in school if the children attend the same school.
My child was being bullied and now fights back and gets into trouble at school for it
* Make an appointment to go and talk with your child’s school and tell them your child was being bullied and explain that they have been told to stick up for themselves and have begun fighting back. Unfortunately most schools have a “two wrongs don’t make it right” policy and will class your child as misbehaving if they are fighting back against the bullies.
* Make sure your child understands that there are different ways of standing up to a bully and that hitting back isn’t always the best policy, explain to them that walking away doesn’t mean you are a coward and the bully is getting away with it but that it means they are a stronger and better person than the bully by just walking away.
The school my child attends seem to trivialize bullying
* All schools have to meet certain guidelines and all schools should have a policy regarding bullying and how to deal with them, if you think your child’s school isn’t taking bullying seriously then first you should make an appointment to speak with the head teacher and ask about the schools bullying policy.
Make it clear to them that your child is being bullied while in their care and present them with any evidence pertaining to the bullying incidents. If you are still not happy with what’s being done in school then take advice from higher authorities such as Ofsted.
Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying
School policies to stop bullying
All schools have to have a policy in place regarding how to deal with bullies, this policy is required by law but schools may have different policies. None of the policies have been studied over the long term so it is hard to say if one works better than another but here are some of the policies that schools have to help combat bullying:
The support or no blame method
In this method the victim of the bully is asked to draw pictures or write a story or poem about the effects bullying has had on them, a meeting will then be held between a teacher and a group of children including the bully. Also in the group will be children who have witnessed the attacks and some that haven’t.
The teacher will then show the group the victim’s drawings or story and explain to the group the victim’s feelings and the effect bullying has had on them. The group is then open to discussion to find ways of finding a solution. The principle behind this is not to put blame on the bully in the hope that by doing so they will not feel threatened and is part of the solution rather than the problem.
Those in the group who witnessed the attacks are meant to see that by doing nothing they condoned the bullying. The group as a whole are asked for any ideas to solutions to stop bullying and responsibility is put on the group rather than a single person. The group will then be asked to carry out the solutions for a week and then they meet up again to discuss what if anything has been achieved.
Counseling between the bully and the victim
The idea is to bring the two together in a room with a teacher and let them both talk over their feelings, the victim has a chance to tell the bully the effect bullying has had and the bully can talk about why he/she feels that they act as they do.
Circle time
This policy is used mainly with younger children, who are experiencing bullying, children are encouraged to sit on the carpet in a circle and talk about how bullying makes them feel. Children are encouraged to listen to each other and to respect each others feelings.
Peer group programmes
This is a strategy that is widely used in schools and involves choosing pupils who will act as peer councillors, the idea behind it is that the whole school knows bullying won’t be tolerated so children who are new to the school moving up from juniors are assured that the school is a bully free zone and bullying is dealt with quickly.
The children chosen as peer councillors undergo training into the various effects bullying has on people and how to care for children who are being bullied. Some schools also have a box system whereby if someone is being bullied but they don’t want to approach the peer group then they can leave a message with their name on it to be collected. Text messaging and e-mails can also be sent and the whole programme is overseen by a teacher.
Filed under: Bullying In Schools
Bullying Guide
Being bullied causes a great deal of conflicting feelings, one of these being anger and since the victim of a bully is usually a non violent person this anger gets held in and can be one of the main causes of depression. Victims of bullies will eventually arrive at the point where they can no longer hold in this anger, this is when they reach the point of boiling and a release of the internal pressure is needed.
As the person is generally a non violent one they can very often turn to hurting themselves instead of lashing out at the bully and very often even attempt suicide. In the United Kingdom alone it is thought that each year:
* Over 5000 people commit suicide.
* At least 16 young people or children commit suicide due to bullying.
* At east 19,000 children will have attempted suicide, this is one every half hour.
* For males between the ages of 18 and 24 suicide is the number one cause of death.
* Over 30% of the workforce in the United Kingdom suffer from mental health problems.
Bullying, harassment and abuse causes severe problems with our health these problems are often diagnosed as stress and anxiety but also includes depression.
Strategies for dealing with anger to help eliminate depression
All targets of bullies whatever their age or gender will eventually come to a boiling point if the anger is left to fester and eventually the smallest of irritations can cause an outburst. This trigger could come from our adversaries but more often than not it will come unwittingly from friends or family.
Anger controls a person and when we become angry we lose control, bullies know this and this is what they are aiming for, this is why a bully will constantly provoke you.
By holding in the anger you are risking your health and by expressing your anger with friends and family you are in theory allowing the bully to control you even after the event.
Here are some tips for getting the frustrations out quickly and early:
* Take an empty plastic milk carton and jump up and down on it until you feel better, do this in private of course.
* Visit a counselor or therapist and talk things through.
* Every time you have a negative thought remind yourself “I am responsible for how I feel”.
* Read books on anger management and ways of dealing with stress.
* Save up all your empty glass bottles and take them to a bottle bank, drop them in and hear the glass shatter, breaking glass is thought to be soothing.
It is important to remember that you are not alone in how you feel, all targets of bullies get angry and let the anger build up until it’s uncontrollable. The important thing is to manage this anger and let off steam when you feel the need to but always remain in control of the anger and don’t let it bring you to the brink of serious depression or worse – suicide.
Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying
Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying
We have gathered a list of bullying facts to help you get a better understanding of bullying:
* Research has shown that 1 in 6 children are bullied in school.
* Bullying in the workplace varies from country to country, in Norway 5% of the workforce admit to being bullied while in the UK and USA 20% of the workforce say they have encountered bullying in the workplace.
* 1 in 30 workers are serial bullies.
* Bullying can continue for years.
* 84% of workers at some time in their life encounter intimidating behaviour.
* 73% of the workforce are unhappy and say the workplace is oppressive.
* 65% of the workforce won’t speak up out of fear.
* 43% felt a great deal of pressure especially when it came to meeting unrealistic targets.
* 40% of the workforce say they have encountered abusive language.
* 38% of the workforce have been on the receiving end of hurtful jokes or have been the victim of pranks.
* 23% have come across threatening behaviour in the workplace.
* 15% have been on the receiving end of a physical assault.
* 66% of the bullies encountered within the workplace were managers or supervisors.
* 1 in 4 primary school children are bullied more than once or twice a week in any one school term.
* 1 in 10 primary school children are bullied persistently.
* Over 25 children every year commit suicide because of bullying.
* More than a quarter of children get threats of physical violence while in school.
* Bullying against boys is a more frequent occurrence than by girls.
* Around 10% of children have time off school due to bullying.
* Up to 40% of children think teachers have no clue that bullying is happening within the school.
* About 17% of all calls to child help lines are made by children who are being bullied.
* More children in the age group of 12 call child help lines regarding bullying than any other age.
* Almost one third of secondary school children have reported being the object of sexual jokes, gestures or comments.
* Victims of bullying are more likely to suffer from common illnesses such as colds, sore throats and stomach problems.
* By the average age of 23 children who had been bullied in school were found to still suffer from depression and stress related illnesses.
* Nearly 60% of boys who were classified as bullies when they were younger had been convicted of at least one crime by the time they were 23.
Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying
