Bullying Guide

Harassment and bullying can sometimes be confused; harassment is generally unwanted and offending behaviour usually on a racial or sexual theme. Sexual harassment occurs when the attacks happen based on your gender or sexual orientation. Racial harassment is when the attacks happen because of the colour of your skin, race or cultural background.

Bullying is persistent unwanted behaviour which hurts or threatens a person regardless of sex or race. Harassment is covered by the discrimination act and the protection from harassment act but bullying is not, so clear decisions have to be made to determine whether you are the victim of harassment or being bullied. The main differences between bullying in the workplace and harassment are:

Harassment

Usually has a physical edge to it such as touching, intrusion into your personal space and damage done to your possessions.

Bullying

Is mostly psychological for example criticism about work or stealing work from you to use as their ideas.

Harassment

You are the focus of attention because of who you are for example, a woman, the colour of your skin or disabled.

Bullying

Anyone will do regardless of the colour of skin, sex or competence.

Harassment

Could just be a few incidents or many over time.

Bullying

Bullying is very rarely just a single occurrence and happens frequently.

Harassment

The victim realises they are being harassed straight away.

Bullying

The victim doesn’t realise what is happening to them at first.

Harassment

If there is an assault it is usually of a sexual or indecent nature.

Bullying

Bullying almost never consists of assaults of a sexual nature but mainly physical such as pushing or punching and is often mental abuse.

Harassment

There is often an element of being possessive for example stalking a person.

Bullying

Bullying is usually about controlling the person there and then, for example frightening someone or making them feel small in front of others.

Harassment

Offensive language relating to the colour of your skin or sex is often used such as “bitch” or “nigger”.

Bullying

Swear words can be used but in a different context and usually to state that you are useless or worthless.

Harassment

The problem occurs with the person both in and outside of work.

Bullying

The problem with the person only occurs in the workplace.

Harassment

The person sees the victim as easy prey.

Bullying

The victim is seen as a threat which must be controlled.

Harassment

The person will often have specific inadequacies in their life such as sexual problems.

Bullying

The bully will be inadequate in all areas of life.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying

Bullying Guide

If you find that your child is bullying others it can be a big shock, you will probably ask yourself questions such as “where did I go wrong?”, “what could I have done to prevent this?”. The answer in most cases is nothing, your child could have turned to bullying for several reasons and it is important that you remain calm and level headed and discuss with your child why they have turned to bullying.

There are several points you should discuss with your child such as:

* Talk with your child and get his/her side of the story, it may be that your child was being bullied themselves and has turned to bullying as a way of countering this. They may have gotten in with the wrong crowd and are being coerced into bullying by others to stay in with the crowd.

* Talk with your child and help them to understand how they are making other children feel by bullying them and the serious affects bullying can have on a child’s health. Make sure your child knows that bullying in any form is not acceptable for whatever reasons.

* If the bullying is happening in school then make an appointment to see members of staff in school, talk if possible with your child’s form teacher and make them aware of the problem if they didn’t already know. Ask if any changes have been made in school such as moving your child to sit with others, if they have been recently moved and are now mixing with a different group of children ask that they be moved again.

* Other children may be putting pressure on your child to bully or take part in bullying if this is the case and you are on speaking terms with the other child’s parents make them aware of what is happening, they will probably be just as eager to put a stop to it as you are once they realise what is happening.

* If other children are involved but you don’t know them or their parents then get the school involved and ask if they can organise a meeting between all parents of children who are involved in bullying.

* Find out if your child is having problems with learning in school, quite often a child will uses bullying as a cover up for having difficulties with learning in school.

* Is your child copying aggressive behaviour from family members, more than likely this could be older brothers or sisters, maybe they have in the past used aggression against their sibling.

* Talk with your child about how they feel about children who are more fortunate than themselves, maybe your child is jealous of someone who is always bragging or bringing “new belongings” to school.

* If bullying is happening during school holidays try and find ways to keep your child amused, try to spend more time with your child and do more family activities together to keep them busy.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying

Bullying Guide

When we think of bullying we think of children in school, while it is true the majority of bullying does occur in school in the playgrounds it is something that happens in the workplace and in the home too. Bullying has also taken on a new form with the modern technology of today and is no longer confined just to the playground, bullying now occurs in cyber form via email and text messaging with cell phones.

Bullying in schools

Most bullying often occurs in playgrounds and at lunch breaks and can take on different forms such as your child being bullied for money at lunchtime or for sweets to more serious forms of continually hounding your child just for the sheer fun of it.

Bullying can also occur during lessons particularly in full classes or during sports lessons and isn’t confined in school bullies can also make your child’s life hell going to and from school. Sometimes bullying can also come from those we entrust our children’s safety to, teachers.

Cyber bullying

With the modern technology of today bullying has taken on a new form, it is now a common occurrence for children to have computers in their rooms and bullies have seized upon this opportunity to find new ways to bully.

Although harm isn’t being done to a child physically it is still bullying and often mental bullying is far worse than actual physical harm. Bullies have also seized on the opportunity of cell phones and can terrorise their victims by sending text messages and prank phone calls.

Bullying in the workplace

It isn’t just children who are victimised by bullies; adults can also fall foul of them in the workplace. We all known how younger new recruits in the workplace are usually called upon for all the jobs that no one wants to do, it’s a standard joke they are the “gophers” but bullying in the workplace is something entirely different from being the butt of jokes such as that.

Forms of bullying in the workplace can be persistently given the lower paid or dirty jobs, refusal of holidays for no good reason and promotions being denied in favour of more well liked people on the staff.

Bullying in the home

Bullying in the home can either be the husband or occasionally the wife bullying the spouse, the children or the whole family, bullying in this form often consists of mental cruelty rather than physical.

Bullying in the form of mental cruelty is one that is often favoured by the bully because words often hurt more than physical harm, also there is no evidence and bullies after all are cowards and don’t want to get caught.

Bullies also like to be in total control and have a power over people and mental cruelty is often far more effective and gives the bully a deeper sense of satisfaction and control.

Whatever form of bullying occurs be it a child or an adult in the workplace or in the home environment it is important for those suffering to be taken seriously.

Bullying is treated the same wherever it happens and to whom, standing up to the bully and refusing to be victimised any longer is the key and there are several organisations that can give advice on dealing with bullying of any form.

If you need help then your local citizen’s advice bureau will be able to put you in touch with organisations in your area.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying

So it is essential that you take them seriously and let them know that you don’t blame them for what is happening to them, it is all too easy to tell your child to stick up for themselves but this only makes things worse and deepens the shame your child feels and this was probably the very reason they kept it a secret in the first place.

By confiding in someone particularly their own parent your child has shown a great deal of inner strength and this should be pointed out to them and deserves your praise.

* Be a good listener – We all know that a problem shared is a problem halved and this is true, one of the most important ways you can help your child is to talk about what is happening to them and how they feel.

Just by knowing you support them will be a big step towards dealing with the bullying, when you first start talking about the bullying it is understandable that as a parent you will be upset, after all your child is suffering, but try not to let your child see you are upset because they could see this as your disappointment in them.

* Reassure your child - You should always reassure your child that they are not to blame for what is happening, try to explain to them that bullies are people who feel inadequate about themselves and who are jealous of others.

Questions you can ask your child

There are questions that you could ask your child such as:

* Do they encounter problems walking to school or on the bus to school and how do they feel about going to and from school, have they seen other children bullied?

* Do they have problems in the school yard before entering school or coming out of school and how they feel about it?

* When does the bullying usually occur the most in school, do they have problems during break time, dinner time or is the bullying taking place during lessons?

* Do they know if the bullies threaten anyone else in school?

* Does the bullying occur at weekends or evenings when away from school?

* Do they receive emails, text messages or prank phone calls, if so discuss how your child feels about this and ways of dealing with it.

Asking your child questions rather than waiting for them to offer might be easier and asking about other children being bullied will emphasis that they aren’t the only victims of bullies.

If the victim of bullying is a younger child then asking them to draw what is happening to them or how they are feeling might be easier, role playing using toys can often be a big help also. Stress to your child that the bullying can be dealt with together rather than you will sort it out for them, this way the child won’t feel useless and ashamed.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying

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Bullying Guide

Here we have compiled a series of answers to your bullying questions, providing in a bullying FAQ format:

What is bullying?

* Physical or mental abuse such as hitting, nipping, scratching, being called names and taunted on a daily basis.

* Receiving unwanted and often threatening e-mails, phone calls and text messages on a daily basis.

* Constantly being made to look foolish in the classroom by a teacher, such as being called stupid, thick and general put downs that happen on a daily basis.

* Constant attempts in the workplace to undermine your status, value, position and potential.

* Being put down or patronized constantly especially in front of others.

* Being overload at work or having major work taken away and menial tasks assigned to you on a constant basis.

* Having annual holidays, sick days and compassionate leave denied on a regular basis within the workplace.

* Being given disciplinary procedures for trivial reasons or made up ones on a regular basis in the workplace.

How do I recognize a bully?

* Bullies will very often be in gangs and will be the leader, they will delight in the power that they have over the victim and enjoy feeling powerful as head of a gang.

How can I tell if a school has a problem with bullying?

* Check the schools attendance records, schools which have a big problem with bullies usually have a bad attendance record. This is mainly due to victims of bullies having a lot of time off from school because of the bullying.

* Look for a high level of staff turnover, staff are reluctant to work in schools were bullying is rife.

* Check Ofsted reports for signs of bad behaviour on record.

My child is being bullied on the way to and from school

* Some schools have a policy that the school is responsible for a child’s safety until they reach home, other schools take no responsibility for your child once they have left the school premises. Most schools however will do all they can to help a child who is being bullied. Schools realize that if the bullying is occurring out of school then it will most likely continue in school if the children attend the same school.

My child was being bullied and now fights back and gets into trouble at school for it

* Make an appointment to go and talk with your child’s school and tell them your child was being bullied and explain that they have been told to stick up for themselves and have begun fighting back. Unfortunately most schools have a “two wrongs don’t make it right” policy and will class your child as misbehaving if they are fighting back against the bullies.

* Make sure your child understands that there are different ways of standing up to a bully and that hitting back isn’t always the best policy, explain to them that walking away doesn’t mean you are a coward and the bully is getting away with it but that it means they are a stronger and better person than the bully by just walking away.

The school my child attends seem to trivialize bullying

* All schools have to meet certain guidelines and all schools should have a policy regarding bullying and how to deal with them, if you think your child’s school isn’t taking bullying seriously then first you should make an appointment to speak with the head teacher and ask about the schools bullying policy.

Make it clear to them that your child is being bullied while in their care and present them with any evidence pertaining to the bullying incidents. If you are still not happy with what’s being done in school then take advice from higher authorities such as Ofsted.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying

We have gathered a list of bullying facts to help you get a better understanding of bullying:

* Research has shown that 1 in 6 children are bullied in school.

* Bullying in the workplace varies from country to country, in Norway 5% of the workforce admit to being bullied while in the UK and USA 20% of the workforce say they have encountered bullying in the workplace.

* 1 in 30 workers are serial bullies.

* Bullying can continue for years.

* 84% of workers at some time in their life encounter intimidating behaviour.

* 73% of the workforce are unhappy and say the workplace is oppressive.

* 65% of the workforce won’t speak up out of fear.

* 43% felt a great deal of pressure especially when it came to meeting unrealistic targets.

* 40% of the workforce say they have encountered abusive language.

* 38% of the workforce have been on the receiving end of hurtful jokes or have been the victim of pranks.

* 23% have come across threatening behaviour in the workplace.

* 15% have been on the receiving end of a physical assault.

* 66% of the bullies encountered within the workplace were managers or supervisors.

* 1 in 4 primary school children are bullied more than once or twice a week in any one school term.

* 1 in 10 primary school children are bullied persistently.

* Over 25 children every year commit suicide because of bullying.

* More than a quarter of children get threats of physical violence while in school.

* Bullying against boys is a more frequent occurrence than by girls.

* Around 10% of children have time off school due to bullying.

* Up to 40% of children think teachers have no clue that bullying is happening within the school.

* About 17% of all calls to child help lines are made by children who are being bullied.

* More children in the age group of 12 call child help lines regarding bullying than any other age.

* Almost one third of secondary school children have reported being the object of sexual jokes, gestures or comments.

* Victims of bullying are more likely to suffer from common illnesses such as colds, sore throats and stomach problems.

* By the average age of 23 children who had been bullied in school were found to still suffer from depression and stress related illnesses.

* Nearly 60% of boys who were classified as bullies when they were younger had been convicted of at least one crime by the time they were 23.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying