Bullying in the family is almost always psychological bullying; the main reason for this is because it leaves no outward scars or signs and so no evidence. Most commonly the abuse takes on the form of verbal cruelty, this is usually achieved by constant fault finding and nit picking. The bully in the family will never give praise where it is due and will manipulate, isolate and exclude family members.

The bully’s objective

The objective of the bully in the family is to dominate, they thrive on power and control over their victim. The bully will never admit they are doing wrong and living with someone who is constantly putting you down and denying what they said or did can drive you crazy almost to the point where you begin to doubt yourself constantly.

When the bullying starts to get you down to the point where other family members and friends begin to notice, the bully will tell them it is you that has a problem and will tell others you are losing it.

Control is the main issue, this can be controlling of finances within the family, who you see and where you go and what you do during the day. Very often, if it is the husband who is the bully, he will call his wife several times a day while he is out at work wanting to know where she is and what she is doing.

Very often he will demand that she do tasks around the home just for the sake of keeping her at home and therefore knowing her whereabouts all the time. Very often the bully in the family will take great delight in setting family members against each other, the bully will gain a great deal of satisfaction from seeing family members argue amongst themselves and taking the side of the bully, to the bully this is total control of the person’s mind.

Female bullies in particular within the family are very good at manipulation; they excel in manipulating people through their emotions, such as guilt. The bully will seize upon any form of vulnerability and are especially good when it comes to taking advantage of those who are emotionally needy such as elderly parents.

The bully within the family will also encourage their victim to lie to other members in the family and having your mind poisoned by a member of your own family can be difficult to comprehend and the victim will often refuse to believe that their own family could be guilty of such a thing, so therefore bullying in the family is particularly hard to stop.

It is extremely important the person being bullied sees through the deception and realizes they are being used as a pawn and get help.

The serial bully in the family is often easy to spot as all bullies have certain characteristics, they will show signs of:

* Denial

* Arrogance

* Unpredictability

* Be attention seekers

Bullies in the family can either be male or female and very rarely children can also bully their parents, particularly mothers playing on their emotions, female bullies are usually more cunning than males, female bullies will be more devious and they will often bully a male into committing violence for them. Male bullies are often less subtle and clever when it comes to bullying but also play on the emotions of a woman.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying