Bullying Guide

Harassment and bullying can sometimes be confused; harassment is generally unwanted and offending behaviour usually on a racial or sexual theme. Sexual harassment occurs when the attacks happen based on your gender or sexual orientation. Racial harassment is when the attacks happen because of the colour of your skin, race or cultural background.

Bullying is persistent unwanted behaviour which hurts or threatens a person regardless of sex or race. Harassment is covered by the discrimination act and the protection from harassment act but bullying is not, so clear decisions have to be made to determine whether you are the victim of harassment or being bullied. The main differences between bullying in the workplace and harassment are:

Harassment

Usually has a physical edge to it such as touching, intrusion into your personal space and damage done to your possessions.

Bullying

Is mostly psychological for example criticism about work or stealing work from you to use as their ideas.

Harassment

You are the focus of attention because of who you are for example, a woman, the colour of your skin or disabled.

Bullying

Anyone will do regardless of the colour of skin, sex or competence.

Harassment

Could just be a few incidents or many over time.

Bullying

Bullying is very rarely just a single occurrence and happens frequently.

Harassment

The victim realises they are being harassed straight away.

Bullying

The victim doesn’t realise what is happening to them at first.

Harassment

If there is an assault it is usually of a sexual or indecent nature.

Bullying

Bullying almost never consists of assaults of a sexual nature but mainly physical such as pushing or punching and is often mental abuse.

Harassment

There is often an element of being possessive for example stalking a person.

Bullying

Bullying is usually about controlling the person there and then, for example frightening someone or making them feel small in front of others.

Harassment

Offensive language relating to the colour of your skin or sex is often used such as “bitch” or “nigger”.

Bullying

Swear words can be used but in a different context and usually to state that you are useless or worthless.

Harassment

The problem occurs with the person both in and outside of work.

Bullying

The problem with the person only occurs in the workplace.

Harassment

The person sees the victim as easy prey.

Bullying

The victim is seen as a threat which must be controlled.

Harassment

The person will often have specific inadequacies in their life such as sexual problems.

Bullying

The bully will be inadequate in all areas of life.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying

Bullying Guide

If you are being bullied in school then you can go to your teachers for help and they must do everything they can to straighten it out and stop the bullying while you’re in school. Bullying however can continue outside of school during the weekends and holidays and school has nothing to do with the bullying when this happens, so what can be done to put a stop to bullying outside of school? There are several ways that you can help to make life easier for yourself if you are being bullied outside of school, these include:

* Ask you friends to call for you before you go out instead of walking to friends’ homes on your own.

* Try taking a slightly different route than you would normally take if you are alone.

* If you’re out alone in the dark then stick to well lit streets.

* Try avoiding areas that you know bullies hang out such as shops, playgrounds and parks.

* Get a personal safety alarm or a whistle and use it if you are threatened.

* If bullies call you names don’t reply just ignore them and carry on walking.

* If you have an a older brother or sister then let them walk with you to your friends’ house.

* Get a lift from your parents to a friends’ house.

Most bullies think it’s clever to call you names they know will upset you and any reaction you have to them name calling will only egg them on and they will do it all the more. If they see that you are upset then they will torment you more so try not to show that their behaviour upsets you or frightens you.

Tell someone you’re being bullied

It is very important that you tell someone if you are or have been bullied on any occasion, whether this is at school or home, it is not a sign of weakness and it doesn’t mean you are a coward for not dealing with it yourself.

If you are being hit or kicked then the person doing this could get into serious trouble as it is a criminal offence and even making obscene gestures and calling you names is termed as harassment. Often children are afraid that they won’t be taken seriously when they say they’re being bullied but more and more attention is being paid to bullying and it is taken very seriously by parents, teachers and the police.

It can be helpful particularly if the police have to become involved if you have kept a journal of the bullying in as much detail as you can. For example writing down dates and times and what was said or done at the time.

What will be done about the bullying?

If you are being bullied on a daily basis by the same person and they are physically harming you as well as mentally then your parents can call the police and someone will come and talk to you about the bullying.

Special police community support officers will usually get involved and they will come and talk to both you and the person responsible for the bullying. In most cases this sorts the problem out as the police will often give the child an unofficial warning, if it doesn’t or the bullying gets worse then the police will come back and take statements from you and they might recommend that you bring criminal charges against the bully.

If the bully admits what they have done then probably they will have to visit the police station and a caution will be given if it goes further then they may have to attend a court hearing and be prosecuted and it will go down on record.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying

Bullying in the workplace can be dealt with the same as any type of bullying; bullies awe secretive cowards whatever their age. The bully in the workplace will lie to achieve their goal and deceive others around them. They are extremely clever but so are you and you can beat the bully. There are certain things you have to remember when dealing with a bully in the workplace, these are:

* Start to gain control back

Recognize what is happening to you and admit that you are being bullied, there is no shame in it and it’s not something you are at fault for. Criticisms about your work are made to put you down and to get you second guessing yourself, don’t give in to these fears, if you know you are producing work of a high standard and the boss has no complaints then don’t worry needlessly .To do this you are playing right into the bully’s hands and giving them the satisfaction they crave.

* You are not alone

It is important to remember that you are not alone in what you are going through, bullying in the workplace is a common occurrence. Many people associate bullying with children in school but it is a wide spread problem which can occur in some shape or form anywhere.

Bullying in the workplace however usually consists of mental cruelty more than physical violence with the bully wanting the attention or credit you get for the work you produce.

It often happens that the bully will steal your ideas for their own, do not let the bully make you feel shame, guilt or fear; this is what the bully relies upon to keep their hold over you. Guilt and fear strategies are the bully’s best friend for this is how all abusers silence their victims.

* Don’t try to handle bullying alone

Bullies pick on those who are afraid to tell others of the problem therefore it is important to remember there is no shame in asking for help, the bully will try hard to make you feel inadequate and belittle their victim making them believe that asking for help and not being able to deal with the problem on your own like an adult is cowardly. If necessary tell a colleague at the very least or preferably the boss, bullying is harassment and most workplaces won’t tolerate harassment.

* Take action against the bully

Keep a written account of the incidents of bullying, write in great detail what happened and where, including times and dates. If the bully has sent memos, emails or text messages be sure to keep copies of them but never reply to them.

It can also be worthwhile purchasing a hand held mini tape recorder or a phone which has recording capabilities and capture the bullies own words.

Talk with other employees very often the bully will not target just one person but several in the workplace, get together with colleagues and make a stand together against the bully. The bully will be very reluctant to continue with the abuse once they realize they have been found out.

Filed under: Bullying In The Workplace