There are many different forms of bullying, it isn’t all physical violence it is also verbal or social abuse, this can be by way of intimidation, making nasty comments and excluding the person. Bullying can consist of threatening, persistent teasing, name calling, ignoring, gossiping and spreading vicious rumours. This done day in day out over a long period of time can have serious effects on your child’s health both physically and mentally.
Stages of bullying
When your child first begins to be bullied the effects can be minor, your child will of course be upset at what is happening to them and may often come home tearful, and they will perhaps go off their food and can also begin to have sleepless nights or bad dreams. If the bullying continues your child will then come up with more and more excuses to not to go to school, they will say they have a stomach ache, headache or other minor illness.
Perhaps if the bullying is taking place in just one or two lessons say for instance PE then they will make excuses just on particular days when they have those lessons. Gradually over a period of time your child will begin to show signs of stress developing; they may look tired and drawn, not sleeping very well, be very nervous and jittery, refuse to go out after school or begin to have panic attacks.
Ideally the problem should never reach this stage because the effects of stress from bullying can lead to self harm and suicide. By this stage you will know something is seriously wrong with your child and probably school will have noticed a big difference in your child too as stress affects learning.
More often than not children are reluctant to tell if they are being bullied due to their own feelings of guilt and shame, only occasionally are they too afraid of the bullies threats to tell.
When we think of bullying we think of children in school, while it is true the majority of bullying does occur in school in the playgrounds it is something that happens in the workplace and in the home too. Bullying has also taken on a new form with the modern technology of today and is no longer confined just to the playground, bullying now occurs in cyber form via email and text messaging with cell phones.
Bullying in schools
Most bullying often occurs in playgrounds and at lunch breaks and can take on different forms such as your child being bullied for money at lunchtime or for sweets to more serious forms of continually hounding your child just for the sheer fun of it.
Bullying can also occur during lessons particularly in full classes or during sports lessons and isn’t confined in school bullies can also make your child’s life hell going to and from school. Sometimes bullying can also come from those we entrust our children’s safety to, teachers.
With the modern technology of today bullying has taken on a new form, cyber bullying. With pay as you go phones being easy and cheap to buy more and more children are falling victim to cyber bullying and its effects are just the same if not worse. Cyber bulling is mental abuse and can leave the victim in constant fear, bulling this way is usually done via text message and what is termed as prank calls where very often the caller will phone many times and not even speak.
Along with cell phones cyber bullies will also use home computers; more and more children now have access to computers with many now having them in their bedrooms. Here they are free to email their victims or use one of the popular instant messenger programs to victimize.
What you can do to combat cyber bullying
Never ignore cyber bullying in any form, be it text messaging, e-mail or prank calls to your phone. It is also important not to respond to bullies the way they want, never answer e-mails or text messages but do save them on your phone or computer. It is hard to trace text messages but e-mails have information in what is called headers which can be traced.
It can often be helpful if you keep a record of what its happening to you by keeping a journal of the attacks, be precise when keeping a record, if you know who the person or people are then record their names along with times and dates and what was said .Always remember the golden rule and never be tempted to reply in any shape or form to any messages, texts or emails that you are sent.
Be aware
Never underestimate the power of bullying this way, bullying in this form has the same consequences has any other form of bullying and should be taken just as seriously. Cyber bulling may start off as just the odd one or two text messages at first after a falling out with friends but it can quickly turn into something more sinister before you realize, this is why you should always be aware and start and keep records from the beginning.
Stay in control
Bullying is all about control, the bully wants to have a hold over you and keep you afraid so always stay in control of the situation and don’t let them think what their doing is affecting you. Nine times out of ten if the bullies don’t see results they will get fed up and leave you alone.
If the bully is sending you text messages in school or when you’re out with friends then very often they may be watching for your reaction when you receive them, try not to let them see the messages upset you just calmly put your phone away and pretend you don’t care.
Understand how the bullies mind works
Try to remember the bully can only be a bully if you let them; bullies thrive on power, the power of frightening people. If you don’t react to their threats then you take power away from them and they become nothing more than the weak cowardly person they really are.
Bullies are also attention seekers and need to feed from your reactions whatever your reaction might be, if they think they are bothering you then the bullying will continue if they don’t get any reaction from you they quickly tire.
What you can do to put a stop to the bullying
Cyber bullying is very similar to stalking and text messages are generally hard to trace, however if the bullying continues to the point where it starts to affect your health and you have kept records then your telephone service provider may be able to suggest ways of putting an end to it.
In serious cases contact the police they can often help particularly if you know who the person is, they might suggest that you bring harassment charges against the offenders or at the very least go and talk with them.
Above all talk with someone about what is happening to you, if you are a child then talk with your parents or teachers and shown them the evidence you have been keeping, always remember that you are not at fault and have nothing to feel guilty about and that bullying happens in many forms and to many people in many different ways.
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