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Bullying Guide

There are many different forms of bullying, it isn’t all physical violence it is also verbal or social abuse, this can be by way of intimidation, making nasty comments and excluding the person. Bullying can consist of threatening, persistent teasing, name calling, ignoring, gossiping and spreading vicious rumours. This done day in day out over a long period of time can have serious effects on your child’s health both physically and mentally.

Stages of bullying

When your child first begins to be bullied the effects can be minor, your child will of course be upset at what is happening to them and may often come home tearful, and they will perhaps go off their food and can also begin to have sleepless nights or bad dreams. If the bullying continues your child will then come up with more and more excuses to not to go to school, they will say they have a stomach ache, headache or other minor illness.

Perhaps if the bullying is taking place in just one or two lessons say for instance PE then they will make excuses just on particular days when they have those lessons. Gradually over a period of time your child will begin to show signs of stress developing; they may look tired and drawn, not sleeping very well, be very nervous and jittery, refuse to go out after school or begin to have panic attacks.

Ideally the problem should never reach this stage because the effects of stress from bullying can lead to self harm and suicide. By this stage you will know something is seriously wrong with your child and probably school will have noticed a big difference in your child too as stress affects learning.

More often than not children are reluctant to tell if they are being bullied due to their own feelings of guilt and shame, only occasionally are they too afraid of the bullies threats to tell.

The four common types of bullying

* Verbal bullying - This type of bullying is very often done by girls; it is a very cruel form of bullying and can have deep lasting affects on your child mentally even when the bullying has been stopped. Verbal bullying consists of name calling, sarcasm, teasing and spreading rumours.

* Social bullying – excluding your child from the group is a popular form of social bullying, bullies of this type will often make your child the scapegoat and humiliate them at every opportunity in front of others.

* Physical bullying – This form of bullying is one used mostly by boys and only occasionally girls, it takes the form of hitting, pinching, poking, pushing, chasing and destroying or stealing possessions.

* Cyber bullying – This form of bullying is becoming more widespread and consists of sending hateful text messages, e-mails or spreading rumours by these methods. Occasionally serious prank phone calls are made to the victim usually to scare them and is a form of bullying favoured by girls.

Whichever form of bullying takes place it can have serious health related issues long after the bullying has been dealt with and stopped, it may take a long time for your child to fully recover from the ordeal particularly if the bullying happened over a long period of time.

The quicker the problem is caught and dealt with the quicker your child can start to put it behind them and get on with their life. Even so your child may need to see a Doctor especially when dealing with the effects of stress.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying

Bullying Guide

When we think of bullying we think of children in school, while it is true the majority of bullying does occur in school in the playgrounds it is something that happens in the workplace and in the home too. Bullying has also taken on a new form with the modern technology of today and is no longer confined just to the playground, bullying now occurs in cyber form via email and text messaging with cell phones.

Bullying in schools

Most bullying often occurs in playgrounds and at lunch breaks and can take on different forms such as your child being bullied for money at lunchtime or for sweets to more serious forms of continually hounding your child just for the sheer fun of it.

Bullying can also occur during lessons particularly in full classes or during sports lessons and isn’t confined in school bullies can also make your child’s life hell going to and from school. Sometimes bullying can also come from those we entrust our children’s safety to, teachers.

Cyber bullying

With the modern technology of today bullying has taken on a new form, it is now a common occurrence for children to have computers in their rooms and bullies have seized upon this opportunity to find new ways to bully.

Although harm isn’t being done to a child physically it is still bullying and often mental bullying is far worse than actual physical harm. Bullies have also seized on the opportunity of cell phones and can terrorise their victims by sending text messages and prank phone calls.

Bullying in the workplace

It isn’t just children who are victimised by bullies; adults can also fall foul of them in the workplace. We all known how younger new recruits in the workplace are usually called upon for all the jobs that no one wants to do, it’s a standard joke they are the “gophers” but bullying in the workplace is something entirely different from being the butt of jokes such as that.

Forms of bullying in the workplace can be persistently given the lower paid or dirty jobs, refusal of holidays for no good reason and promotions being denied in favour of more well liked people on the staff.

Bullying in the home

Bullying in the home can either be the husband or occasionally the wife bullying the spouse, the children or the whole family, bullying in this form often consists of mental cruelty rather than physical.

Bullying in the form of mental cruelty is one that is often favoured by the bully because words often hurt more than physical harm, also there is no evidence and bullies after all are cowards and don’t want to get caught.

Bullies also like to be in total control and have a power over people and mental cruelty is often far more effective and gives the bully a deeper sense of satisfaction and control.

Whatever form of bullying occurs be it a child or an adult in the workplace or in the home environment it is important for those suffering to be taken seriously.

Bullying is treated the same wherever it happens and to whom, standing up to the bully and refusing to be victimised any longer is the key and there are several organisations that can give advice on dealing with bullying of any form.

If you need help then your local citizen’s advice bureau will be able to put you in touch with organisations in your area.

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying

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Bullying In Cyberworld

With the modern technology of today bullying has taken on a new form, cyber bullying. With pay as you go phones being easy and cheap to buy more and more children are falling victim to cyber bullying and its effects are just the same if not worse. Cyber bulling is mental abuse and can leave the victim in constant fear, bulling this way is usually done via text message and what is termed as prank calls where very often the caller will phone many times and not even speak.

Never ignore cyber bullying in any form, be it text messaging, e-mail or prank calls to your phone. It is also important not to respond to bullies the way they want, never answer e-mails or text messages but do save them on your phone or computer. It is hard to trace text messages but e-mails have information in what is called headers which can be traced.

It can often be helpful if you keep a record of what its happening to you by keeping a journal of the attacks, be precise when keeping a record, if you know who the person or people are then record their names along with times and dates and what was said .Always remember the golden rule and never be tempted to reply in any shape or form to any messages, texts or emails that you are sent.

Be aware

Never underestimate the power of bullying this way, bullying in this form has the same consequences has any other form of bullying and should be taken just as seriously. Cyber bulling may start off as just the odd one or two text messages at first after a falling out with friends but it can quickly turn into something more sinister before you realize, this is why you should always be aware and start and keep records from the beginning.

Stay in control

Bullying is all about control, the bully wants to have a hold over you and keep you afraid so always stay in control of the situation and don’t let them think what their doing is affecting you. Nine times out of ten if the bullies don’t see results they will get fed up and leave you alone.

If the bully is sending you text messages in school or when you’re out with friends then very often they may be watching for your reaction when you receive them, try not to let them see the messages upset you just calmly put your phone away and pretend you don’t care.

Understand how the bullies mind works

Try to remember the bully can only be a bully if you let them; bullies thrive on power, the power of frightening people. If you don’t react to their threats then you take power away from them and they become nothing more than the weak cowardly person they really are.

Bullies are also attention seekers and need to feed from your reactions whatever your reaction might be, if they think they are bothering you then the bullying will continue if they don’t get any reaction from you they quickly tire.

What you can do to put a stop to the bullying

Cyber bullying is very similar to stalking and text messages are generally hard to trace, however if the bullying continues to the point where it starts to affect your health and you have kept records then your telephone service provider may be able to suggest ways of putting an end to it.

In serious cases contact the police they can often help particularly if you know who the person is, they might suggest that you bring harassment charges against the offenders or at the very least go and talk with them.

Above all talk with someone about what is happening to you, if you are a child then talk with your parents or teachers and shown them the evidence you have been keeping, always remember that you are not at fault and have nothing to feel guilty about and that bullying happens in many forms and to many people in many different ways.

Filed under: Cyber Bullying