The Aspects Of Bullying

May 25, 2008 – 11:00 pm

Aspect Of Bullying
Questions & Answers (Q&A)
aspect of bullying

Bullying Guide

When we think of bullying we think of children in school, while it is true the majority of bullying does occur in school in the playgrounds it is something that happens in the workplace and in the home too. Bullying has also taken on a new form with the modern technology of today and is no longer confined just to the playground, bullying now occurs in cyber form via email and text messaging with cell phones.

Bullying in schools

Most bullying often occurs in playgrounds and at lunch breaks and can take on different forms such as your child being bullied for money at lunchtime or for sweets to more serious forms of continually hounding your child just for the sheer fun of it.

Bullying can also occur during lessons particularly in full classes or during sports lessons and isn’t confined in school bullies can also make your child’s life hell going to and from school. Sometimes bullying can also come from those we entrust our children’s safety to, teachers.

Cyber bullying

With the modern technology of today bullying has taken on a new form, it is now a common occurrence for children to have computers in their rooms and bullies have seized upon this opportunity to find new ways to bully.

Although harm isn’t being done to a child physically it is still bullying and often mental bullying is far worse than actual physical harm. Bullies have also seized on the opportunity of cell phones and can terrorise their victims by sending text messages and prank phone calls.

Bullying in the workplace

It isn’t just children who are victimised by bullies; adults can also fall foul of them in the workplace. We all known how younger new recruits in the workplace are usually called upon for all the jobs that no one wants to do, it’s a standard joke they are the “gophers” but bullying in the workplace is something entirely different from being the butt of jokes such as that.

Forms of bullying in the workplace can be persistently given the lower paid or dirty jobs, refusal of holidays for no good reason and promotions being denied in favour of more well liked people on the staff.

Bullying in the home

Bullying in the home can either be the husband or occasionally the wife bullying the spouse, the children or the whole family, bullying in this form often consists of mental cruelty rather than physical.

Bullying in the form of mental cruelty is one that is often favoured by the bully because words often hurt more than physical harm, also there is no evidence and bullies after all are cowards and don’t want to get caught.

Bullies also like to be in total control and have a power over people and mental cruelty is often far more effective and gives the bully a deeper sense of satisfaction and control.

Whatever form of bullying occurs be it a child or an adult in the workplace or in the home environment it is important for those suffering to be taken seriously.

Bullying is treated the same wherever it happens and to whom, standing up to the bully and refusing to be victimised any longer is the key and there are several organisations that can give advice on dealing with bullying of any form.

If you need help then your local citizen’s advice bureau will be able to put you in touch with organisations in your area.


Aspect Of Bullying Pictures

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Aspect Of Bullying Videos

Bullying

Young people taking action on Bullying

Amy Trailer X

Kyle Gets Attacked

Generation YouTube

Harmony Row (1933), excerpt 1



Aspect Of Bullying Question & Answers

Aspect Of Bullying Question: 1


Bullying in primary schools.?

I am doing a project on bullying, I know a lot about bullying and it's quite easy to find information in books, different organisations, through questonnaires,etc. However, I am quite stuck in deciding the aspect that i want to look at. The tutor said i have to be really specific and child-centred. I told her that 'what if i write about 'understanding bullying in schools, she said no and i had another suggestion 'stop the bullying', she also said no. Help people! I'm confused. Should i just write the project and last minute of my project, i can get a better title? any suggestions?

Answer:
Focus on a case-study or small range of case-studies, and try to answer the question 'How could this have been tackled?' in each case. You need to give more detail about you assignment, word count etc. But the above is a good way to ensure you focus on the children and stay close to specific details.

Aspect Of Bullying Question: 2


tell me your opinion whether Uniforms help decrease bullying or not?

please reason ur opinion as well......i need to write a 1000 words essay The focus of your assessment should be on whether it is reasonable to accept the main claim(s) in the news report. When you discuss any claims and/or evidence for them, clearly identify whatever claims or evidence you are discussing. · In your assessment, discuss whichever of the following are relevant: credibility, news reporting, inferences, studies and causal reasoning. The example will not call for discussion of every one of the aspects of reasoning we have studied. Discuss all and only those aspects of the reasoning that are relevant to the assessment of the example.

Answer:
My Opinion Is Uniforms Do Decrease Bullying Becuase Alot Of Bullies, Bully About The Person Wardrobe. If You Have Uniforms Everyone Is Wearing The Same Thing So There Would Be Less To Bully About.

Aspect Of Bullying Question: 3


How do I stop my ex from bullying and controlling my family?

I have been divorced for 6 years, yet my ex still controls all aspects of my life. He refuses to sign kids passports at last minute, refuses to sign divorce papers last minute, disowned my 11 year old daughter, trashes me to my son, calls me every name in the book via email. I of course save all emails and forward them to my lawyer. Bottom line he is not well but continues to cause havoc in our lives. He is causing so much pain and suffering to all of us, my children are getting counselling and know that what he is doing is wrong. I have tried to seek sole custody but the office of the childrens lawyer declined my request. It kills me to see my son be brainwashed, he is instructed to steal from our house and lie to me. This monster says I am the evil one, I want to be able to move on but this man refuses to stop hurting us every chance he gets. Any advice would be appreciated...after 6 years of going to court and battling it out I'm at a loss of what to do.

Answer:
It sounds like you need a better attorney that will protect you AND the children's interest. He is clearly harrassing you and I cannot imagine why a lawyer would turn a blind eye to this and the obvious abuse inflicted upon the children. Document everything. The lawyers should try to seek an injunction to prohibit the verbal abuse, etc. Do not give up but fight like hell to get this man under control. Your children's well being depends on it. Check out 2 party recording laws in your state. If it is legal, start recording all conversations. Good luck.

Aspect Of Bullying Question: 4


Bush & the Psychology of Incompetent Decisions: What do you think of this VERY LONG email I received tonight?

Bush and the Psychology of Incompetent Decisions By John P. Briggs, MD, and J.P. Briggs II, PhD Thursday 18 January 2007 President George W. Bush prides himself on "making tough decisions." But many are sensing something seriously troubling, even psychologically unbalanced, about the president as a decision-maker. They are right. Because of a psychological dynamic swirling around deeply hidden feelings of inadequacy, the president has been driven to make increasingly incompetent and risky decisions. This dynamic makes the psychological stakes for him now unimaginably high. The words "success" and "failure" have seized his rhetoric like metaphors for his psyche's survival. The president's swirling dynamic lies "hidden in plain sight" in his personal history. From the time he was a boy until his religious awakening in his early 40s, Bush had every reason to feel he was a failure. His continued, almost obsessive, attempts through the years to emulate his father, obtain his approval, and escape from his influence are extensively recorded. His biography is peppered with remarks and behavior that allude to this inner struggle. In an exuberant moment during his second campaign for Texas governor, Bush told a reporter, "It's hard to believe, but ... I don't have time to worry about being George Bush's son. Maybe it's a result of being confident. I'm not sure how the psychoanalysts will analyze it, but I'm not worried about it. I'm really not. I'm a free guy." A psychoanalyst would note that he is revealing here that he has been worrying about being his father's son quite a lot. Resentment naturally contaminated Bush's efforts to prove himself to his father and receive his father's approval. The contradictory mix showed up in his compulsion to re-fight his father's war against Iraq, but this time winning the duel some thought his father failed to win with Saddam. He could at once emulate his father, show his contempt for him, and redeem him. But beneath this son-father struggle lies a far more significant issue for Bush - a question about his own competence, adequacy and autonomy as a human being. We have seen this inner question surface repeatedly, and we have largely conspired with him to deny it. • On September 11, 2001, we saw (and suppressed) the image of him sitting stunned for seven minutes in a crowd of school children after learning that the second plane had hit the Twin Towers, and then the lack of image of him when he vanished from public view for the rest of the day. Instead, we bought the cover-up image, three days after the attack, of the strong leader, grabbing the bullhorn in New York City and issuing bellicose statements. • In 2004, we saw and denied the insecurity displayed when the president refused to face the 9/11 Commission alone and needed Vice President Cheney to go with him. • In 2003, we saw and suppressed the dark side of the "Mission Accomplished" aircraft carrier landing, in which a man who had ducked out on his generation's war and dribbled away his service in the Texas Air National Guard dressed up like Top Gun and pretended that he was a combat pilot like his father. • Asked by a reporter if he would accept responsibility for any mistakes, Bush answered, "I hope I don't want to sound like I've made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't - you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not quick - as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one." What we heard, and yet didn't hear, was a confession of his feelings of inadequacy and an arrogant denial those feelings all at once. • In early 2006, when his father moved behind the scenes to replace Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and the son responded, "I'm the decider and I decide what's best" - and when he clenched his fist at a question about his father's influence, proclaiming, "I'm the Commander in Chief" - we glimpsed what was going on. To cover up and defend himself against his feelings of his inadequacy and incompetence, Bush developed a number of psychological defenses. In his school years he played the clown. (His ability to joke about his verbal slip-ups is an endearing adult application of this defense to public life.) His heavy drinking was a classic way to anesthetize feelings of inadequacy. Indeed, drinking typically makes the alcoholic grandiose, which has led some commentators to argue that Bush has the "dry drunk" syndrome, where the individual has stopped drinking but retains the brittle psychology of the alcoholic. Other defenses now play especially powerful roles to protect the president against his internal feelings of insufficiency. The Christian Defense Bush has carefully let it be known that he believes the decisions he makes in office are directed by God. His famous claim to make decisions by "gut" ("I'm a gut player," he told Bob Woodward) equates with his claim of the spiritual inspiration he receives through prayer, his own and the prayers of others. Whatever else it is, this equation of his own choices with God's will has unparalleled advantages. It creates the perfect defense against any doubts he or anyone else might have that he can't make the right decision. The need to engage in analysis and explore alternatives to get there comes off the table. Instead, he has his gut; he has his God. Being "born again" also allows the president to present himself as having relegated to the past all those previously inadequate behaviors of his younger days: the poor academic performance, the drinking, the failed businesses. He's a new man, no longer incompetent but now supremely competent as a result of his faith. When Woodward asked Bush if he had consulted his father before invading Iraq, he replied, "He is the wrong father to appeal to in terms of strength. There is a higher father that I appeal to." How wonderfully that appeal must seem to resolve the internal conflict about adequacy we have described above. The Bully Defense Bush's mother, Barbara (sarcastic, mean, disciplinarian, always with an acid-tongued retort), is probably the model for another major defense Bush deploys to defend himself against feelings of inadequacy. A friend at the time described her as "sort of the leader bully." That bullies are insecure people is well known and fairly obvious. A bully covers insecurity with bluster and intimidation so that others won't find an opening to see how weak he feels. Much of the world outside the US considers Bush a bully. "You're either with us or against us" is a bully's threat that anyone can recognize. The Bush doctrine of pre-emptive strikes is a bully's doctrine. For his intimates and those closer to home, Bush appears to be what is called an emotional bully. An emotional bully gains control using sarcasm, teasing, mocking, name calling, threatening, ignoring, lying, or angering the other and forcing him to back down. Bush administration insider accounts describe this sort of behavior from the president. He's well known for his dismissive remarks. His penchant for giving nicknames to everyone has its dark, bully's side. Naming people is a way to control them. In report by Gail Sheehy in 2000, recalled recently by New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, we get a glimpse of how Bush's pervasive fear of failure (his absolute refusal to consider "failure as an option") and his bully defense go together. Sheehy interviewed friends from his teenage years and college years. In basketball or tennis games he would insist points be played over because he wasn't ready; he would force opponents who had beaten him to continue playing until he beat them. At Yale he would interrupt his fellow students' studying for exams (helping them fail) to compete in a popular board game, "The Game of Global Domination," at which he was the player noted for taking the most risks, being the most aggressive. It's likely that speculations about Vice President Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Condoleezza Rice functioning as Bush's puppet-masters are 180 (or at least 160) degrees off. Bush is the president; he gets his way, and they know it. Chances are they have learned to channel his "gut" and give him policy advice that matches it. They may even imagine they are steering him, not clear about the ways that he has bullied them, elicited in them "The Stockholm Syndrome," in which hostages come to identify with and even defend the very person who is threatening them. This is the same dynamic evident in the behavior of battered spouses and members of gangs. Ron Suskind described the small group around the president: "A disdain for contemplation or deliberation, an embrace of decisiveness - a sometimes bullying impatience with doubters and even friendly questioners." Biographical reports tell us that Bush's parents taught him to keep his inner feelings to himself. As psychiatrist Justin A. Frank noted in Bush on the Couch, this results in a "self-protective indifference to the pain of others." This is another aspect of his bully defense, projecting his inner pain onto others. Bush's remarkable drive for the power to torture terrorist suspects and his reported glorying in Texas executions during his terms as governor testify to his lack of compassion, despite his recent statement of qualms about seeing Saddam Hussein drop through the trap. The Man of Splits and Oppositions Being in the world, for all of us, involves the challenge to somehow integrate the opposites of our nature and to select our way through the many opposing choices presented us in life. The bully polarizes the natural ambivalence (the internal opposition) anyone feels about whether he is strong or weak, safe or vulnerable. A person who needs to feel invulnerable and completely adequate all the time, or who always feels helpless and inadequate, has polarized these emotions and leads a deformed life. The degree of internal polarization in President Bush appears to be serious - and widespread. Commentators have made lists of the president's polarities: the proclaimed uniter who is a relentless divider, the habit of "saying one thing and doing another," as Vermont Senator Jim Jeffords put it. The list is long and growing. It should include the oppositions that show up in his famous Bushisms, such as: There is no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons. They [the terrorists] never stop thinking of ways to harm our country and our people - and neither do we. To a psychiatrist, these are not mere malapropisms and mistakes in speech. They suggest ambivalence oscillating violently between poles. They suggest a desperate uncertainty about everything that the president reflexively seeks to hide by taking absolutist, rigid positions about "victory," "success," "mission accomplished," "stay the course," "compassion," "tax cuts," "no child left behind," and a host of other issues. The Presidential Defense Once Bush took the bullhorn at ground zero, he found perhaps the ultimate defense for his secret fears of inadequacy. As he told Bob Woodward, in Bush at War, "I'm the commander - see, I don't need to explain - I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being the president. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation." As commander in chief, as a war president, he could assemble his other psychological defenses around him. He could split the world into good and evil and the country would follow. His internal oppositions could be projected without much resistance from the populace or his adversaries. He could be the gut-led, divinely inspired "Decider," to save the country. He could project own internal fears of being "discovered as a fraud" into a threat "out there" waiting to happen. He could surround himself with loyalists whom he could emotionally bully, creating a new family that would admire him and that he could control. Meanwhile the ambiguities of political decisions that can always be rationalized offer a safe haven. Until history judges me (and that's a long way off, maybe never) I can't be definitively seen as incompetent. But as much as the presidency is a perfect defense for disguising incompetence, it's also the perfect trap. It accelerates the positive feedback loop that was set in motion when he "changed his heart" around age 40 (committing himself to God) and presumably put his failures, and his feelings of failure behind him. In recent weeks, anyone following the news must have intuitively sensed from watching and hearing the president that he would reject the Iraq Study Group's report, co-authored by a person he must have felt was the emissary of his father come to tell him that he had failed again. He chose escalation, the one solution most knowledgeable people agree cannot succeed, in order to keep alive the fiction that success still lies in the future. The dynamic is becoming obvious to almost everybody. But how much is Bush aware of this psychological dynamic and of the secret he's keeping? Not aware enough. That's the problem. Psychotherapists use the term "unconscious," but it isn't quite an accurate descriptor. We are aware of feelings, sensations and scripts that occur when one of our unseen psychic mechanisms is triggered. So, when an interviewer asked about the generals who demanded Rumsfeld be removed, and the president knew his father had been working behind the scenes to replace Rumsfeld, the question would not have triggered the conscious thought: there goes dad again trying to make me feel incompetent. Instead, the president may have felt a hollow sensation or a flush of anger, an urge to form a clownish grin to cover his watery feelings, and a script that would come out of his mouth as "I'm the decider." Beneath that would be the inadequacy and cover-up dynamic outlined here. A president's psychology and his inner secrets are his or her own business, except in one important area. That is area covered by the question, "Does the psychology of this individual interfere with his or her ability to make sound decisions in the best interest of the nation?" Recent history has certainly been witness to presidents with psychodynamics that have damaged their historical legacies. Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon come to mind. But in neither case was the very ability to make sound decisions compromised to the extent we believe it is with this president. A Failed Process Many accounts of the president suggest that his decision-making process is a failed one; in an important sense, it is no process at all. Ambivalent feelings are normal at certain stages of decision-making, and the ability to tolerate ambivalence has been shown to be the hallmark of creative thinkers. The inability to tolerate uncertainty because you think that may imply incapacity brings decision-making to an end. Thus, instead of focusing on the process needed to arrive at a decision, Bush marshals his defenses in order not to feel incompetent. That doesn't leave much room for exploring the alternatives required of competent decision-making. Not interested in discussion or detail (where the devil often lies), he seeks something minimal, just enough so he can let the decision come to him; it's his "gut" (read "God") that will provide the answer. But these gut feelings are the very feelings associated with his deep sense of inadequacy and his defenses against those feelings. So while he brags that he makes the "tough decisions," psychologically, he's defending himself against the very feelings of uncertainty that are the necessary concomitant to making tough decisions. His tough decision-making is a sham. In the recent maneuvering toward the "new strategy" in Iraq, we have witnessed a great pretense of normal decision-making. But the president clearly made up his mind almost as soon as the "surge" alternative appeared, and apparently moved to cow others, including his new secretary of defense Robert Gates (his father's man) in the process. "Success" is the only alternative for him. "Failure" and disintegration of Iraq is unthinkable because it would be synonymous with his own internal disintegration. As his decisions go awry, he exudes a troubling, uncanny aura of certitude (though some find it reassuring). He seems to expect to feel despised and alone (and probably has always felt that), as he has always secretly expected to fail. That expectation of failure leads to sloppy, risky, incompetent decisions, which in turn compel him to swerve from his fears of incompetence. At this point, the president seems to have entered a place in his psyche where he is discounting all external criticism and unpopularity, and fixing stubbornly on his illusion of vindication, because he's still "The Decider," who can just keep deciding until he gets to success. It's hard not to feel something heroic in this position - but it's a recipe for bad, if not catastrophic, decisions. Psychologically, President Bush has received support for so long because many have thought of him as "one of us." Most of us feel inadequate in some way, and watching him we can feel his inadequacies and sense his uncertainties, so we admire him for "pulling it off." His model tells us, "If you act like you're confident and competent, then you are." We are the culture that values the power of positive thinking and seeks assertiveness training. We believe that the right attitude can sometimes be more important than brains or hard work. He's bullied us, too. We don't dare to really confront the scale of his incompetent behavior, because then we would have to face what it means to have such an incompetent and psychologically disabled decision-maker as our president. It raises everyone's uncertainty. And that is, in fact, happening now. ---------- John P. Briggs, MD, is retired from over 40 years of private practice in psychotherapy in Westchester County, New York. He was on the faculty in psychiatry at the Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center in New York City for 23 years and was a long-time member of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis. He trained at the William Alanson White Institute in New York. J.P. Briggs II, PhD, is a Distinguished CSU professor at Western Connecticut State University and is the senior editor of the intellectual journal The Connecticut Review. He is author and co-author of books on creativity and chaos, including Fire in the Crucible (St. Martin's Press); Fractals, the Patterns of Chaos (Simon and Schuster); and Seven Life Lessons of Chaos (HarperCollins), among others. He is currently at work with Philadelphia psychologist John Amoroso on a book about the power of ambivalence in the creative process. This is propaganda, FYI. If it were not, it would mention the elitist families who are telling Bush what to do. Bush is a puppet and I never did like puppet shows and I friggin' HATE puppet masters.

Answer:
That's just a bunch of crap. Strung together by some old hippie that probably voted for Dukakis as well. I'm sure I could pay someone to write an analysis that shows consistency and strength in Bush's decision making abilities if I chose to. I'm not saying Bush is perfect, and is a great speaker, or that I have always agreed with every decision. It's just that everything I read above is used to prove some failing or deficiency in Bush. Remember that what some people see as negative, such as being arrogant, others will interpret as self-confidence. When some say he isn't listening to other opinions, others will say he is decisive. One thing's for sure, he doesn't want to take a poll and base his decision on only the popular way to go.

Aspect Of Bullying Question: 5


I'm concerned about my son's behaviour can you give me some advice?

My son is 5 and has had behavioural problems since pre school. He loses his temper and hurts other children, can be quite restless and hyper at times and also is very competitive and gets very upset if he loses. He's ostricised and labeled for his behaviour at school, he tells me that no one wants to play with him (so he clings to his friend from birth, this is upseting his mother who is my friend as she's concerned my son is affecting her son's relationships with other children) I'm very upset about it too. All aspects from his bullying behaviour to his low self esteem and inability to make friends are a constant worry for me. A mother has approched me telling me to make my son stop bullying her daughter, aparently my son had punched her in the face and persistently taunted her as they were sitting next to each other at class. I arranged a meeting with the head teacher (continues bellow) who told me that it can't have been that bad otherwise it would have been brought to her attention. She discussed it with his teacher who said his behaviour has improved and no major incidents have been happening. I've had several meetings before with the head teacher and we agreed that my son would attend a help group to control his anger, he's attenting it once a week and his behaviour is very good there, the support worker even tells me that my son is very polite wich at least makes me feel like I'm getting something right... I do tell him every day that hurting others is unkind, I've tried everything to help him stop his behaviour, he's ok at home and with friends outside school despite his persistant competitiveness he very seldom hurts someone and if he does I don't tolerate it and remove him from play for a short period and if persistent I remove him full stop. My heart sinks when I pick him up at school and and the teacher tells me it's been a very bad day.

Answer:
First of all, well done for tackling the problem head on and arranging meetings with the head and the teacher. Some parents bury their heads in the sand and refuse to believe their child is doing anything wrong, but you're obviously willing to listen and try to put the situation right. Secondly, don't put your child on drugs. I don't know why these are seen as the end to all problems. If your child is able to control his behaviour at home and at his group then I would say that shows there is nothing medically wrong with him, he just needs to learn to control it at school as well. Giving him drugs as a way to help his problems will make him think that's what drugs do, and he may grow up with an overreliance of them - both prescriptive and not. So, his behaviour problems started at pre-school. Before that was he an only child alone with you at home? Pre-school is a big change, suddenly a child is not the centre of attention anymore, and some children don't cope well with this change. I'm sure with you, he was used to winning games, he was used to getting what he wanted, and he was used to not having to take turns. Of course, he was your beloved son and you wanted him to be happy. That's good, but now he has to learn that he can't always win, he can't always have something he wants, and he has to take turns. Make sure you let him practise these things at home. Play turn taking games - cards, simple board games, etc and make sure you don't always let him win. Praise him when he accepts defeat without a fuss, and put him in time out if he has a tantrum. Make sure you don't give in to his every whim. There will be plenty of things he won't be allowed to do at school, so make sure is also used to hearing, and accepting, 'No' at home. As for bullying children at school, try not to get yourself too upset and start thinking your child is some little monster when really he is just trying to adjust to school life. Some parents will cry 'bullying' at the drop of a hat, when really there has been one incident where a child lost his temper. Your child is 5, and hasn't properly understood the message that violence is wrong. He is not 15, picking on other kids for enjoyment. You are doing the right thing by backing up the teacher and telling your child he was in the wrong when incidents do occur. When during the day do most incidents happen? Is it during class, or is it at break times? Some children feel insecure when in the big playground, and this can manifest itself in poor behaviour. Ask the class teacher if she can set up a rota of children whose turn it is to play with your son at break time. They could have a little area of the playground they know that is where they play, and could be allowed to select one piece of equipment, such as a ball, to use. This will help your child to learn how to play well with others, help him feel secure because he knows where he has to play and who with, and will also let the other children start to see him in a more positive light again. I used to work at a school with a child with far more severe problems than your son has got, and the other children loved it when it was their turn to be his partner and play outside with him. I have found that lots of behaviour problems occur at lunch time. Children like routine, and some schools have an hour or so of playing in the playground with no structure for what to do. This unsettles some children. If this is the case, and you are at home all day, think about taking him home for lunch. I know this is extra hassle, having to go up and down to the school twice more each day, but it will take the problem away from your son. Also, if the other children haven't had any unpleasant encounters with him during lunchtime they will be happier to see him in the afternoon. Children are normally very forgiving, but once someone has a name for being the 'naughty boy' it can be hard for them to forget that. I've been in classes where a child says 'ow, someone just pushed me, it was Jason' when Jason has been standing next to me, and I have watched and seen it was Sam. Children start to assume whatever has gone wrong was the 'naughty' child's fault. Your child needs to show the others that he is not always naughty. A little bribery and corruption can work wonders! Encourage your son to draw pictures and write notes to take into school to give to children in his class. Children are always pleased to be given things, so it doesn't have to be the best art work in the world, just a little picture that he has drawn for them. This will also help him to think more about others, not always himself, and he will start to feel better about himself for doing things for other people. Not every day, but sometimes, let him take a sheet of stickers to school to give one to everyone in his class. Children will start to see him in a more positve light, and will start to play with him more often. Try and talk to the mother of one of his classmates. Explain you have been concerned about his behaviour but you are working hard to put it right. Ask if she will come to your house for coffee one afternoon after school with her child, so that the 2 children can play together in the living room and you can both supervise. Parents are sometimes wary of letting their children go to a child's house if they've heard bad reports of his behaviour, but if they are allowed to go with their child, and if you have opened up about the situation, you will find many will be happy to help. If you're not sure who to talk to, ask the class teacher if she can put you in touch with one or two mothers she thinks will be happy to help you. Once one has been to your house, and seen you care for your child, and don't let him get away with murder, and you care for the wellbeing of your child's playmate the rumours will spread, and more mothers will be happy to bring their children over to play. When your son is at home make sure you limit the violence that he is allowed to see. Some children are more susceptible to screen violence than others, but make sure you take away any contributing factors, such as violence on TV (including joke violence on cartoons) or on computer games. Make sure your son is getting enough sleep, so that he can concentrate better at school, and so he is better able to control his temper. At 5 years old, 7 o' clock is an appropriate bedtime. Calm him down by giving him a warm bath and reading him a bedtime story. I hope I have been of some help. I know it's worrying when all you hear is bad reports about your son, but listen out for the good as well. Notice the nice things he does at home and praise them for him. If the teacher says it's been a good day at school, ask her what sepecifically he has done well, and praise him. He will be used to hearing negatives about himself by now, which is why his self-esteem is low, so he is in a vicious circle of behaving badly because he feels low, but feeling low because his bad behaviour gives him negative attention. Praise him often. Enjoy spending time together. Paint, cook, play, sing, go for walks, and praise every little good thing he does. He will start to really enjoy the praise, so will be more uspet if he does something to make you cross, and will be less likely to do it again. Good luck, and be proud your child is well behaved at home. Just focus on how you can help him overcome his problems at school, and the two of you will get there in the end!

Aspect Of Bullying Question: 6


Guys and girls in their 20's, how do you use what you learned in Elementary school?

Do you? I do.. but it's kind of vague. in terms of the social aspect, i was bullied so much , so now i think about that and how to be stronger. In terms of subjects in class, i still remember some math techniques i used in elementary school, but thats about it. he he he, However i don't really use anything from elementary school that much? I think mostly elementary school taught me how to be stronger mentally.

Answer:
I'm surprised you only remember some math. What about decimals/percents/fractions/dividing..etc. Of course there's english as well, I'm sure you use grammar on a daily basis. Elementary school forms a foundation for further education. Without addition/subtraction you can't divide, these years set the stage for social and educational development. So yes I so use my elementary school education on a daily basis.

Aspect Of Bullying Question: 7


Why are some people always getting bullied by people?

Not to mention their looks, but why are them more prone to being bullied. In terms of psycholigical aspect, what actions or behaviours do they have that actually makes them being attracted to bullies? If someone just came to hit you, should u fight back or actually suffer in silence? Most people think that quiet people are more easilly getting bullied but in some cases they are not. So what exactly does a bully see in another person that makes them feel like bullying them be in character and attitude. How should a person react if a person tries to bully him so that he will not be seen as a person who is nice to bully.

Answer:
Bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. Some of the ways they bully other people are by: calling them names, saying or writing nasty things about them, leaving them out of activities, not talking to them, threatening them, making them feel uncomfortable or scared, taking or damaging their things, hitting or kicking them, or making them do things they don't want to do. Have any of these things happened to you? Have you done any of these things to someone else? Really, bullying is wrong behaviour which makes the person being bullied feel afraid or uncomfortable. They may see it as a way of being popular, or making themselves look tough and in charge. Some bullies do it to get attention or things, or to make other people afraid of them. Others might be jealous of the person they are bullying. They may be being bullied themselves. Some bullies may not even understand how wrong their behaviour is and how it makes the person being bullied feel. Some young people are bullied for no particular reason, but sometimes it's because they are different in some way - perhaps it's the colour of their skin, the way they talk, their size or their name. Sometimes young people are bullied because they look like they won't stand up for themselves. Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can make young people feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It makes them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. They lose confidence and may not want to go to school any more. It may make them sick. Coping with bullying can be difficult, but remember, you are not the problem, the bully is. You have a right to feel safe and secure. And if you're different in some way, be proud of it! Kia Kaha - stand strong. Spend time with your friends - bullies hardly ever pick on people if they're with others in a group. You've probably already tried ignoring the bully, telling them to stop and walking away whenever the bullying starts. If someone is bullying you, you should always tell an adult you can trust. This isn't telling tales. You have a right to be safe and adults can do things to get the bullying stopped. Even if you think you've solved the problem on your own, tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again. An adult you can trust might be a teacher, school principal, parent, someone from your family or whanau, or a friend's parent. If you find it difficult to talk about being bullied, you might find it easier to write down what's been happening to you and give it to an adult you trust.

Aspect Of Bullying Question: 8


I"m looking of as much positive information on "pit bulls"?

Baton Rouge, Louisiana is trying to either ban the "pit bull" breeds or severly restrict them. I'm trying to find as much as I can on all the positive aspects to the bully breeds to help stop this. The counsilman who is pushing this law is only targeting the "pit bulls" and no other dog. if anyone lives in louisiana contact your counsilman and tell them you object to any breed specific laws, please. the next dog targeted could be your own

Answer:
I dont know if you have access to MYSPACE or not but i found this guys site to be helpful: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=78358187 I am a happy owner of 4 pits and there's nobody in the world that can make me give mine up.. They r a major part of our family. I wish you the best and If it aint S**t

Aspect Of Bullying Question: 9


what is the psychology behind the virginia tech killing?

this was a horrible tragedy. i'm interested in learning how something like this could be prevented, from a psychological aspect. was cho a victim of bullying? should we pay more attention to the "outcasts" and "loners" of the schools? or, is this just a random act of a mentally ill person? what was cho's motivation? could this have been prevented.. on both an individual level or broader societal level? what should be done? thanks for everyone's thoughts. here my perspective (of many that may exist): he was a social outcast, a loner, a victim of bullying behavior. he had a major anger (need a much more explosive word) problem that was not contained or dealt with. he did not have the social skills to connect with people (or found it difficult to connect with friends at virginia tech-- i have no idea what the social cultural economic demographics are at VT). plus, obviously, he had access to a gun. there is nothing that could justify what he did, no excuses for the massacre, and tragic killing of innocent victims. and... bullying is a problem in schools.. exclusionary behaviors, social rejection can be extremely harmful to those that experience it. some deal with it by internalizing it, blaming themselves, become depressed.. while others externalize it, blame others, and act out.

Answer:
Cho felt like an outcast. And the people around him did not include him in their group because he was a loner. Perhaps it took a lot of effort to make him join them. Prevented? Most probably. He was already diagnosed as suicidal. Someone that he trusted should have monitored him. Motivation? It may be a feeling that he has nothing to lose, that nobody cared. Another eye-opener to the society.

Aspect Of Bullying Question: 10


information pro's and con's of student monitoring in school for safety?

has anyone seen negative aspects of school run anti-bullying programs?

Answer:
google it

Filed under: Bullying Guide: Learning About & Dealing With Bullying

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